i have to write introduce myself to my host family please help me make it correct

Status
Not open for further replies.

Zan79

New member
Joined
Oct 1, 2008
Member Type
Student or Learner
Hello my name is .... my nickname is .... I was born on March 25 1993 i living in Chiangmai (Northern of Thailand) with my big family.I live with my mother and relative (grandmom , uncle ,aunt ...)
my father not living with us but he's not divorce with my mother or has a new family he just separate because he has a lot of works to do.he is a politician.Me and my mother understand him.I meet my father every weekend or 2 -3 times for week. we will going out for dinner almost everyweek.
I don't have any brother or sister so that's make me boring sometimes but i do not sad about it because i'm not kind of person.I'm an active, easy-going and talkative person i mean i love enjoy to talk with new people.
Self-Confident is my charactor hahaha that why i think i different from other student but sometimes i have too much confident it's not good to me (i know that) I love sport! hahaha Basketball Batminton Volleyball etc. i like to try new things (*Except if it too much dangerous i won't try it hehe..)
In thailand i can't play ski because We don't have snow in here that's make me sad a little i wish it's will be snow one day in the future (*crying on her face with a wistful eyes) Oh and not just only sport i also love music too. i can say music is my life ( * Big Smile on face)
i can play piano, guitar (just a little) and some thai musical well..actually i can play more than i have write but i can't play it untill the end of song
I mostly love listen to the music I like RnB and some of hiphop songs
i don't like sadness songs because it's make me feel blue...wow i think i have write too much about music haha (back to myself) i interested in other languages spanish polish german something about social cultures & lifes. In my free time i like to play computer,sleep,listen to music, read about philophy When i was young my mom always bought me philophy books so i familiar with philophy and i admit i don't like to read a comic book like other teenages.
as i told before i'm an easy-going person but i'm not going to tell that i'm a good child or excellent. nobody born with perfect things
i honestly to tell that sometime i'm a lazy person like other teenages
but i still have responsibility on my works (i'm sure)

My ambition is be a rich business woman and the lawyer in the same time
so i must to study hard and be more mature. I hope that my life will be better and better and I hope that my stay in America will a rewarding experience with no troubles. Finally, I hope all my dreams will come true. I will be very happy if I succeed in my studies and in my life.






please help me make it correct i have to write it to my host family i will go to study in usa or if u have any idea please comment me thanks.
 

I'm With Stupid

Senior Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2007
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
England
Current Location
Vietnam
A lot of it seems quite informal, so I'm not sure exactly how you want it to sound. I've tried to stick to proper grammar, so let me know if that's not what you want.

Dear.......,

Hello, my name is.... but most people call me.... I was born on March 25, 1993. I live in Chiangmai, Northern Thailand, with my big family. I live with my mother and other relatives (grandmom, uncle, aunt ...).

My father not living with us, because he is busy with his job. He is a politician, so me and my mother understand him. I meet my father every weekend, or 2 -3 times a week. We go out for dinner almost every week.

I don't have any brothers or sisters so that's a bit boring sometimes but I am not sad about it because I'm not that kind of person. I'm an active, easy-going and talkative person and I love to talk with new people.

I am self-confident. That's why i think i different from other students, but sometimes i have too much confidence and it's not good for me. I love sports like basketball, badminton and volleyball. I like to try new things (except if it too dangerous, then I won't try it, hehe).

In Thailand i can't ski because we don't have snow here. That makes me a little sad. I wish it would snow one day in the future. Oh and not just sport, I also love music. I can say music is my life.

I can play piano, guitar (just a little), and some Thai music. Well, actually i can play more than I have wrote, but I haven't learned the entire song yet. [is this what you meant?] I mostly love to listen to the music. I like R&B and some hiphop songs.
I don't like sad songs though, because it's make me feel blue. Wow I think I've written too much about music.

Back to myself, I am interested in other languages, including Spanish, Polish, German, as well as the cultures and social lives in these countries. In my free time I like to play on the computer, sleep, listen to music, and read about philosophy. When I was young my mom always bought me philosophy books, so i familiar with lots of philosophy. I don't like to read a comic books like other teenagers.
As i told you before, I'm an easy-going person, but i'm not going to tell you that i'm perfect. Nobody's perfect after all.

Sometimes, i'm a lazy person like other teenages, but I'm still responsible when it comes to my work.

My ambition is be a rich business woman and the lawyer at the same time,
so I need to study hard and be more mature. I hope that my life will be better and better, and I hope that my stay in America will be a rewarding experience with no trouble. Finally, I hope all my dreams will come true and I will be very happy if I succeed in my studies and in my life.

I've put corrections in red, and stylistic suggestion in blue.

If you're going to send a letter, then I would keep it more formal. If you are going to email them, then feel free to be a bit less formal, and in the bits where you say things like ( * Big Smile on face) or (*crying on her face with a wistful eyes), use the smileys :-D :cry: instead.

Not a teacher.
 

Anglika

No Longer With Us (RIP)
Joined
Oct 19, 2006
Member Type
Other
Additional point - The personal pronoun "I" is always a capital letter.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top