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    #1

    friend

    Dear teachers,


    Could you please explain if the following sentences are correct or not?


    1. I had made the best friend in the world.
    2. I made a good friend.

    Looking forward to hearing from you.
    Thank you in advance.

    Jiang


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    #2

    Re: friend

    Yes. Both are correct.

    But are you very much wiser?

    Can you write a few sentences, showing when you would use each of them?

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    #3

    Re: friend

    Dear David,

    Thank you very much for your reply. I ask the question because my grammar book read it is wrong to say "I want to make friends (or make a friend )with him". People normally say "I want him to be my friend" or "I want to have him as my friend". This made me doubt whether my original sentences are correct or not.

    Looking forward to hearing from you.
    Thank you in advance.

    Jiang
    Quote Originally Posted by David L. View Post
    Yes. Both are correct.

    But are you very much wiser?

    Can you write a few sentences, showing when you would use each of them?

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    #4

    Re: friend

    It's true. It's confusing.

    You can't "make John a friend" (except on Facebook, but that's not English). But you can make friends. Crazy, but true. You can become friends with John, and with John's family, but you make friends only in a more general sense.

    So, you said in your original examples that you made a friend (that works); you implied that you "became" friends with John.

    Gee, I hope that helps.


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    #5

    Re: friend

    Two people meet, engage in activities together in their non-working lives, enjoy each other's company, and a bond of friendship develops: they become friends.

    A mother, talking to her excited child who is about to start school for the first time, will encourage the child's expectancy, and might say,"And you'll make lots of friends."

    A young man, who has just completed two years conscription with the army, might observe that, "I made some good friends in the army."

    Understand that, in Western culture, we have "acquaintances', and "friends". An acquaintance is someone with whom we meet and speak to either occasionally, or even nearly every day, such as at work. However, just the two of you would not go to the cinema etc. together.
    "friends" can be those people with whom we regularly meet up with in our non-working lives, often in a small group. Even though they are termed 'friends', they may just be people who are 'very familiar acquaintances', and the bond is based on just enjoying similar activities together. When this bond develops to a deeper level, we then talk of the person as being 'a good friend/a really good friend of mine'. Of these 'good friends', you may regard one of them as being 'my best friend'. However, whilst we may refer to someone as a 'friend', more mature people have seen 'fairweather friends' fall at the first fence of life's Grand National. They may use the term 'friend' in the usual way, but regard a 'true friend' as someone who has stood by them, been there for them and with them in a crisis, and there is an emotional bond as with a family member.

    I explain that, as we now come to try to understand the meaning of the sentences you quote:
    People normally say "I want him to be my friend" or "I want to have him as my friend"

    Using the word 'want' implies a very immature person. A young child may throw a tantrum and insist "I want an ice-cream", but friendships develop and are a two-way relationship.
    Rather, a person might admire someone for their personal qualities, and enjoy their company, and so say to a confidante, "I'd like him for a friend'. He may then avail himself of opportunities to engage in activities where they will have more frequent contact, both for the pleasure of it, and with the hope that a friendship does develop.

    1. I had made the best friend in the world.


    Can you suggest a context in which a person might say this? (Just so I don't do all the work here
    Last edited by David L.; 08-Oct-2008 at 08:35.

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    #6

    Re: friend

    Dear David,

    Thank you so much for your explanation.

    The homework you assigned:

    I have met many people but only one person makes me think I am attached to her/him.

    Is that right?

    Looking forward to hearing from you.
    Thank you in advance.

    Jiang

    Quote Originally Posted by David L. View Post
    Two people meet, engage in activities together in their non-working lives, enjoy each other's company, and a bond of friendship develops: they become friends.

    A mother, talking to her excited child who is about to start school for the first time, will encourage the child's expectancy, and might say,"And you'll make lots of friends."

    A young man, who has just completed two years conscription with the army, might observe that, "I made some good friends in the army."

    Understand that, in Western culture, we have "acquaintances', and "friends". An acquaintance is someone with whom we meet and speak to either occasionally, or even nearly every day, such as at work. However, just the two of you would not go to the cinema etc. together.
    "friends" can be those people with whom we regularly meet up with in our non-working lives, often in a small group. Even though they are termed 'friends', they may just be people who are 'very familiar acquaintances', and the bond is based on just enjoying similar activities together. When this bond develops to a deeper level, we then talk of the person as being 'a good friend/a really good friend of mine'. Of these 'good friends', you may regard one of them as being 'my best friend'. However, whilst we may refer to someone as a 'friend', more mature people have seen 'fairweather friends' fall at the first fence of life's Grand National. They may use the term 'friend' in the usual way, but regard a 'true friend' as someone who has stood by them, been there for them and with them in a crisis, and there is an emotional bond as with a family member.

    I explain that, as we now come to try to understand the meaning of the sentences you quote:
    People normally say "I want him to be my friend" or "I want to have him as my friend"

    Using the word 'want' implies a very immature person. A young child may throw a tantrum and insist "I want an ice-cream", but friendships develop and are a two-way relationship.
    Rather, a person might admire someone for their personal qualities, and enjoy their company, and so say to a confidante, "I'd like him for a friend'. He may then avail himself of opportunities to engage in activities where they will have more frequent contact, both for the pleasure of it, and with the hope that a friendship does develop.

    1. I had made the best friend in the world.


    Can you suggest a context in which a person might say this? (Just so I don't do all the work here


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    #7

    Re: friend

    1. I had made the best friend in the world.
    The homework you assigned:

    I have met many people but only one person makes me think I am attached to her/him.

    Is that right?


    Let me add a sentence:
    I have met many people but only one person makes me think I am attached to her/him. I realize I have made the best friend in the world.

    This is the Present Perfect form of the verb, whereas the original sentence you gave (quoted in blue above) is Past Perfect.

    "Tom and I were good friends..............and Tom jumped into the raging stream and dragged my unconscious body to shore, and safety. When I woke up in hospital and was told what had happened, I realized that, in Tom, I had made the best friend in the world."

    Past Perfect tense is used to place one action or event further back in time than another. In saving me, he proved the depth of his friendship and the bond between us in risking his life to save me. This occurred, and then (when I regained consciousness) I realized this.
    So -
    I realized (past tense) that I had made (Past Perfect form of the verb, to show that this occurred before the 'realization') the best friend in the world.

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