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  1. Fame's Avatar
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    #1

    is it okay?

    Can you please check the following sentences?

    1. Since the readers of this magazine can be anyone, coming from any kind of educational background.

    2. This text, as we know, is an advertisement and therefore it is directed at the reader directly.

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    #2

    Re: is it okay?

    Quote Originally Posted by fame View Post
    can you please check the following sentences?

    1. Since the readers of this magazine can be anyone, coming from any kind of educational background.
    this is not a complete sentence. Try again.

    2. This text, as we know, is an advertisement and therefore it is directed at the reader directly.
    this is an awkward sentence, and i am not sure how to fix it. What are you trying to express beyond the fact that the text (, as we know,) is an advertisement?
    2006

  2. Fame's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: is it okay?

    Quote Originally Posted by 2006 View Post
    2006
    Well, for the second sentence, I would like to write that since it is an advertisement, it is asking the reader to take some action.

    I know it sounds awkward, but not sure how to put it correctly.

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    #4

    Re: is it okay?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fame View Post
    Well, for the second sentence, I would like to write that since it is an advertisement, it is asking the reader to take some action. But all advertisements want you to do something, usually spend some of your money. So it is redundant to say "it is an advertisement" and "asking the reader to take some action".

    I know it sounds awkward, but not sure how to put it correctly.
    We could change the sentence to make it sound a bit better.
    'The text, as we know, is (just) an advertisement aimed directly at the reader.'

    But the above sentence is redundant too, so I can only suggest something like the following sentence.
    'The text, as we know, is (just an)(nothing but an) advertisement.'

    I can't help you any more with your second sentence.
    Your first sentence can be changed into a complete sentence by omitting "Since".
    Last edited by 2006; 23-Oct-2008 at 23:21. Reason: correct an error

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