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    #21

    Re: proofreading - learning at home

    The story is very simple. John goes to New York to give divorce papers to his wife, Elena, a famous skater. But he discovers secrets around Elena and about the plans of the Ice Corporation; and finally(omit) he(omit) stays to help Elena to escape from her deadly situation.

    When they get almost out of all the freeze of the civilization and of the Ice Corporation, they arrive in the freeze of the nature and they are captured in the middle of nowhere.

    They escape the freezing conditions of New York, and from the Ice Corporation, only to endure a freezing wilderness, before being captured in the middle of nowhere.

    They are without nothing in the snowing, : you jump from 'being captured'
    to being 'without nothing (anything)' - but if they are captured, what do they need? - (except some means to escape.) Do you just mean, they then escape and are stranded in an icy wilderness?

    John finds out that the person who seems their closest ally (and relative)(omit), Michael, Elena’s brother (and his brother-in-low)(omit - this is obvious because Elena is still his wife - he's only handed the divorce papers to her at this stage) has succumbed to human weakness and become their enemy.

    The frozen of the human nature, the deadly heart-breaks, all these things are linked… and are inter-related.

    There is an interrelation between the frozen barrenness of the world, and the heart-attacks that apparently strike down the lonely.


    But(omit) The way [COLOR="blue]in which[/COLOR] John and Elena struggle to find some escape from their hopeless situation is full of warmth and love. Because that's what the film is about - love. They must sleep in the cold snow, and despite their tears and anger about their hopeless situation, they are happy...they are together.

    I consider this a really good movie. It is one of my favourites. There is, nevertheless, one thing I don't like in it: John and Elena are not real. We come to realize that they are only in the mind of Marcello. That detracts from the movie, because we care about them as real people, even though, from the start, it was evident the movie itself was a fantasy.[/QUOTE]

    I wonder if I can ease your disappointment about the ending - or make it worse!
    I haven't seen this movie, and looked up a synopsis to try to find out just whether the world was an ice-block, or it was just snowing a lot. I came across this sentence: "Meanwhile, his own brother, Marciello, circles the globe in a plane observing the onset of global winter." If Elena and Paul are 'only in the mind of Marcello', could this final revelation be the writer's most trenchant observation on life, raising the theme of love versus loneliness to it's ultimate: that in fact, Marcello is lonely, so detached from life and other people (flying round the world, above, separate, isolated in some other realm) that he can only imagine that love, trust and connectedness exist; and as such, that the writer is saying that really, we are kidding ourselves - such aspects of life as love, warmth, trust, are just a fantasy - to paraphrase: ALL men lead lives of quiet, lonely desperation. All else is but fantasy. That would send a cold shiver down the spine!


    Great! Your English is very good. What detracts from your writing is that you are trying to condense the plot and the action of the movie, and make an observation on the deeper meaning of the movie - love and the warmth of togetherness versus the icy cold and heart-break of loneliness...and trust (Paul and Elena) versus betrayal and treachery (Elena's brother, and the Ice Corporation) in just a few paragraphs. This inevitably means that the narrative 'jumps' and has a disconnected quality which is then hard to follow. Try to narrow down the subject matter you write about in your next post.

    Do you have access to many movies on DVD? Also, how old are your children? I could arrange to send some children's movies in English to you to help them. PM me.
    Last edited by David L.; 31-Oct-2008 at 07:16.

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    #22

    Re: proofreading - learning at home

    David L. thank you very much

    Thanks you for your useful advices.

    - - - - -

    I don’t know if my English is enough good and if I understand well you wrote… but I tried

    There’re two sentences that I don’t understand the meaning… I understand the words, but I’m not sure in the meaning.

    1) That would send a cold shiver down the spine!

    2) Try to narrow down the subject matter you write about in your next post

    I write the meaning I think, is it all right?

    1) That is an awful idea. That isn’t nice at all.

    2) Have I to do a “background-narration” about I want to write or have I to write more simple writings, closer to narration? Or have I to do something else?

    - - - - -

    In these days I will write you also a pm. Thanks in advance.


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    #23

    Re: proofreading - learning at home

    1) That is an awful idea. That isn’t nice at all.
    It's quite frightening...and when we are frightened, we may feel cold all over, and this causes us to shiver.

    2) Have I to do a “background-narration” about I want to write or have I to write more simple writings, closer to narration? Or have I to do something else?

    'narrow down the subject matter':
    'narrow something down' : to reduce the number of possibilities or options of something : "The company has narrowed down the candidates for the job to two."

    Say your original post was 700 words. In just 700 words you tried to tell me:
    1. the plot of a complicated movie
    2. the deeper meaning of the movie
    3. an aspect of your personal opinion of the movie
    It was too much to do in just 700 words. The reader cannot understand the plot at all. So narrow these down to:
    (a) just write a synopsis - just tell what the movie is about
    or
    (b) what you think the meaning of the movie is
    or
    (c) your personal opinion, what you liked or disliked, and why.

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    #24

    Re: proofreading - learning at home

    David L. thanks for the explanations…

    1) I’m fully agree with you… and may-be that is the raison why I don’t like this aspect of the film (they are only in imagination).

    2) Hops… I confound the words “narrate” and “narrow”… I’m sorry. But after your explanation now I see it, thanks. And okay, I will do so the next time.

    I will take a little silence for trying to learn all that you wrote me until yet and next time I will send a 'narrowed downer' writing

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    #25

    Re: proofreading - learning at home

    Quote Originally Posted by hunliner View Post
    1) I’m fully agree with you…
    Say:
    I agree with you

    or

    I am fully in agreement with you.
    Quote Originally Posted by hunliner View Post
    and may-be that is the raison why I don’t like this aspect of the film (they are only in imagination).
    Say:
    that is the reason why....
    Also, I think you mean:
    they are only imaginary.

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    #26

    Re: proofreading - learning at home

    Note:
    The word advice is a noncount noun.

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    #27

    Re: proofreading - learning at home

    RonBee,
    thank you very much for your two threads.

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    #28

    at home

    I have two little questions:

    1) What we do with the cheese? Do we grate it or shred it?

    2) How do we say when somebody doesn’t need anymore a card and he put it or throw it (what is the right verb?) on the deck containing the cards out of game?

    Thank you for advance

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    #29

    Re: at home

    Quote Originally Posted by hunliner View Post

    1) What we do with the cheese? Do we grate it or shred it?


    We grate cheese.

    Quote Originally Posted by hunliner View Post
    2) What do we say when somebody doesn’t need anymore a card and he puts it or throws it (what is the right verb?) on the deck containing the cards out of game?
    He discards it or puts on the discard pile.


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    #30

    Re: at home

    RonBee, thank you for your corrections and also for your answers I have now an another question resulting from the previous one: what is the difference between a deck and a pile?

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