It's just a rant that someone threw at his parents. As he explains in his blog, he's always saying that to them.
I think it means, in a playful manner, "What if you didn't have me around? Who would you have to give you culture / education in the finer things of life, then?"
Now, on an almost entirely unrelated topic ...
There is a standard saying in English, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink." I am reminded of a rather famous Dorothy Parker quotation. When asked to use the word "horticulture" (n., the science of cultivation of plants) in a sentence, she replied:
"You can lead a horticulture [whore to culture] but you can't make her think."
Student or Learner