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    • Join Date: Jul 2005
    • Posts: 928
    #1

    correct sentence?

    Hi,

    could you please tell me whether the following sentence is correct:

    I visited the offices of your company together with a representative of XY, who signed an order on the spot which I personally handed over directly to you.

    Thanks a lot!

    Hanka


    • Join Date: Nov 2007
    • Posts: 5,409
    #2

    Re: correct sentence?

    I visited the offices of your company together with a representative of XY, who signed an order on the spot which I personally handed over directly to you.


    It's a little long; and in correcting this, we actually make the impact of your communication stronger:

    I visited the offices of your company together with a representative of XY, who signed an order on the spot. I personally handed this to you.

    This makes sense if there is some dispute as to whether the 'order' was received.

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