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  1. new2grammar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Punjabi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 880
    #1

    Jewellery ad headline please check

    Discerning designs for discreet fashion consciously women

    Adorning distinct designs makes you different

    Enhance your looks by sparklingadornment

    Dazzling brilliance to grace the aura of special moments

    Grace the aura of beauty

    For women who want to be in vogue all season

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Nov 2008
    • Posts: 1
    #2

    Re: Jewellery ad headline please check

    Quote Originally Posted by new2grammar View Post
    Discerning designs for discreet fashion conscious women

    Distinct adorning designs make you different

    Enhance your looks with sparkling adornments

    Dazzling brilliance to grace the aura of those special moments

    Grace the aura of your beauty

    For women who want to be in vogue all season

    Please review the changes. With advertising you have a lot more leeway in phraseology - but least now it is grammatically correct.


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #3

    Re: Jewellery ad headline please check

    Two further changes:

    Distinctive designs make you different

    For women who want to be in vogue in all seasons

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