Boy, I sure hope you take the trouble to rewrite that.
Maybe these articles about writing paragraphs will help. (Simplest first.)
Learn how to write a sentence and paragraph!You really need to rewrite the whole thing. (How is it possible for there to be a total lack of communication between a teacher and her students?)
Writing Tips: Paragraph Builder - WritingDEN
Basic Paragraph Structure
Try, try again.
Student or Learner