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    #1

    Interrupters

    Where exactly is the best place to put interrupters?

    Would this be okay?:

    The thirty seconds were reduced now, yes, to but a few millies."

    If not, where could it be instead? Telling me all the places it could be would help the most. Thank you.

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    #2

    Re: Interrupters

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop View Post
    Where exactly is the best place to put interrupters?

    Would this be okay?:

    The thirty seconds were reduced now, yes, to but a few millies."

    If not, where could it be instead? Telling me all the places it could be would help the most. Thank you.
    It seems unnecessary to me. It's only used in speech, and perhaps literature. In speech, it depends entirely on the external environment, not on the grammar of the sentence, so there are no rules. The only reason to say "yes" in the middle of a sentence is if one of your hearers is looking skeptical. You could then break off your sentence and say "yes, really", before continuing, perhaps repeating some words.

    "The thirty seconds were reduced now ... I see you are not convinced, Jones ... but yes gentlemen, reduced, I say ... to but a few millies."


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    #3

    Re: Interrupters

    This is, in fact, for literature. I'm using it because I want to emphasize "now". Should I write instead:

    "The thirty seconds were reduced now--yes, now--to but a few millies."

    Thank you.

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    #4

    Re: Interrupters

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop View Post
    This is, in fact, for literature. I'm using it because I want to emphasize "now". Should I write instead:

    "The thirty seconds were reduced now--yes, now--to but a few millies."

    Thank you.
    Why do you want to use the past tense with "now"? Can you give us some context. I just can't imagine what is happening.


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    #5

    Re: Interrupters

    I want to show that an event was happening then and there, right at that moment.

    Here is the rest of the paragraph:

    "Throughout his shaky, rubber body swam the boy’s stomach several months prior, when the skies were a deep sea-blue, and the roads reflected a tender ambience through the afternoon—it was Senior Year’s first day’s morning’s hour’s minute’s seconds. Toddling up the hill to the bus stop early, he wanted to ring out his wilting by sitting, swallowing and yawning before stepping upon the outlandish tiles of school again, not to mention the rubbery, hollowed-out entrails of…Bus. An extra ten-to-fifteen minutes were at his disposal. Off to the orange sky and pink clouds stared the boy, an attempt to forget about the future and the past and the repeating of histories. One minute two four eight sixteen—dang nonetheless, travelling at a steady, fast pace to the stop was the beast of his morndreams, and when the stew of anxiety inside, boiling, was beginning to cool off, something upped the heat again. He began to sweat. The ten-to-fifteen minutes, in a couple seconds, passed by, and he had to step inside the monster ravaging the suburban scenery within the next thirty, which were reduced now—yes, now—to but a few millies."

    But I did investigate a bit; I don't think the use of "now" in past tense is incorrect.

    Some examples I'd found just now:

    A History of Greece - Google Book Search

    Encyclopaedia Britannica; Or A ... - Google Book Search

    International Organization in the ... - Google Book Search

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    #6

    Re: Interrupters

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop View Post
    I want to show that an event was happening then and there, right at that moment.

    Here is the rest of the paragraph:

    "Throughout his shaky, rubber body swam the boy’s stomach several months prior, when the skies were a deep sea-blue, and the roads reflected a tender ambience through the afternoon—it was Senior Year’s first day’s morning’s hour’s minute’s seconds. Toddling up the hill to the bus stop early, he wanted to ring out his wilting by sitting, swallowing and yawning before stepping upon the outlandish tiles of school again, not to mention the rubbery, hollowed-out entrails of…Bus. An extra ten-to-fifteen minutes were at his disposal. Off to the orange sky and pink clouds stared the boy, an attempt to forget about the future and the past and the repeating of histories. One minute two four eight sixteen—dang nonetheless, travelling at a steady, fast pace to the stop was the beast of his morndreams, and when the stew of anxiety inside, boiling, was beginning to cool off, something upped the heat again. He began to sweat. The ten-to-fifteen minutes, in a couple seconds, passed by, and he had to step inside the monster ravaging the suburban scenery within the next thirty, which were reduced now—yes, now—to but a few millies."

    But I did investigate a bit; I don't think the use of "now" in past tense is incorrect.

    Some examples I'd found just now:

    A History of Greece - Google Book Search

    Encyclopaedia Britannica; Or A ... - Google Book Search

    International Organization in the ... - Google Book Search
    Ok, now that I've seen the context it makes sense. I think changing it to "yes, now" was a good idea. In general, to answer you original question, you'd put such an interruption (or emphasis or affirmation) as close after the statement as possible, unless you wanted to build on it:
    "... which were reduced now to but a few millies. Yes, now! He hadn't expected this for another day."

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