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  1. jomo27's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Indonesian
      • Home Country:
      • Indonesia
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Dec 2007
    • Posts: 2,796
    #1

    Help..

    Please check the grammar and structure.

    Thanks!


    1. I'll become a philanthropist when I've accomplished my goals.

    2. I aim to be a life winner, not a physic or mathematics Olympiad/Olympic winner.


    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 810
    #2

    Re: Help..

    Quote Originally Posted by jomo27 View Post
    Please check the grammar and structure.

    Thanks!


    1. I'll become a philanthropist when I've accomplished my goals.

    2. I aim to be a life winner, not a physic or mathematics Olympiad/Olympic winner.
    If you aim to be a life winner - you're suggesting that you're aiming to be competitive, to be better than others. In that sense it makes it difficult for me to see how being a life winner is much different from being an accomplished physicist or athlete.

    To me, your sentence would be more coherent if it read:

    I aim to be a life winner like a physicist, mathematician or Olympiad/Olympic winner.

    I think the sentence (in my very personal opinion) makes more sense if it is reworded like this:

    I aim to find intellectual and spirtual fulfilment in life, not to be awarded shallow accolades and meaningless titles.

    Like I said, this is very much my interpetation, and is no doubt influenced by my opinions.

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