PLEASE check my writing!!!

[Sun751]

Some people think that the modern children games are not helping them develop as wide set of skills as traditional games did. Do you agree/disagree?

Growing children should participate in different indoor and outdoor activities to built physically perfectly and mentally sharp. Modern games involves more mental activities where as traditional games involve more physical. Some people are more in favor of old age games and others in modern. In following paragraph i am going to analyze about this.

[Barb_D]

Some people think that the modern children games are not helping them develop as wide set of skills as traditional games did. Do you agree/disagree?

Growing children should participate in different indoor and outdoor activities to built physically perfectly and mentally sharp. Modern games involves more mental activities where as traditional games involve more physical. Some people are more in favor of old age games and others in modern. In following paragraph i am going to analyze about this.

Growing children should participate in a variety of indoor and outdoor activities to develop physically as well as mentally. Modern games involve more mental activities, whereas traditional games were more more physical. Some people favor older games and others modern ones. In the following paragraph, I am going to analyze this?.

What will you analyze? These points of view? The merits of each? Your "this" has no clear antecedant. Are you going to it in only one paragraph? It seems silly to have an introduction paragraph and only one follow-on paragraph.

[RonBee]

It's a class assignment. My guess: high school.

[Sun751]

Attention RonBee,

Its not the class assignment, i am appearing in the English test exam coming February, So i am collecting random topics and trying to write on it.

Regards

Sun

[RonBee]

Attention RonBee,

It's not a class assignment. I am taking a writing test in February, so I am trying to get some writing practice.

Regards

Sun

Its = belonging to it
It's = it is