Letter of Motivation for a Master

Status
Not open for further replies.

diogochbrito

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2009
Member Type
Student or Learner
Dear all,

I'm writing a Letter of Motivation for a Master degree and I got impressed with this forum and how usefull it can be for non English native speakers.

I would like to post my LM and would apreciate any comments about it.



LETTER OF MOTIVATION


Dear Sir or Madam

I hereby apply for entrance to the Master Programme on Design and Construction Project Management at the Chalmers University of Technology for the 2009 autumn term. I am very interested in this degree and I believe my strong academic background in Engineering combined with my work experience may fulfill your requirements.

I am a Portuguese Civil Engineer working as a Site Manager for a Project Management firm where I am improving my skills in construction management and site coordination. From 2004 to 2007 I worked in Portugal for a Contractor, however in the year 2006 I embraced the opportunity to do an internship in Poland that gave me experience on living and working abroad. On my 5 years Civil Engineering degree I got specialized in Concrete structures and I also formed good knowledge in Hydraulics, Geotechnics, Planning and Transportation. Under the ERASMUS Programme I lived and studied in Denmark for 6 months.

After 4 years of professional experience on the construction business I got the maturity to decide on which area I pretend to be specialized. This Master Programme will contribute to the evolution of my career as it suits perfectly as an upgrade of the current position I hold and will allow me to develop my skills on Project Management. Since 2003 when I studied in Denmark I got interested in Sweden and its culture. From my studies at Chalmers I expect to gain knowledge not only on the Swedish way of working but also on several areas where management is essential. Studying the courses included in this Master Programme will let me better understand how to evaluate the viability of a Project, how to coordinate the interaction of the several actors, and how to be a successful Project Manager in the international business.

Thank you for considering my application.

Yours Sincerely,


Thank you in advance,

Diogo
 

STCrowley

Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
Germany
I didn't do a super-careful read-through and maybe there are better people here to help you with the specifics, but I'm impressed. The points I have to make are all pretty simple, you can take them or leave them.

In the first paragraph you say "may fulfill." My advice (it's only advice) is to avoid sounding uncertain. Drop the 'may' and say that it fulfills the requirements, period.

In the second paragraph, you say "experience on. . ." I'd suggest you say "experience with. . ." Also, I'm not sure that "On my . . . degree" sounds good. Maybe it's American to say something like "In my degree" or "while studying for. . . . I specialized in. . ."

In the third paragraph, I suggest finding alternatives for "got the maturity to decide" (was mature enough to decide? had enough experience to decide?) and "Which area I pretend to be specialized." (Maybe: I had enough experience to decide on the area I would pretend to be specialized in. But, in a letter of this tone, I'd suggest dropping the humorous reference to pretending, even if it's meant to be modest.) Also, my skills IN project management (not on).

Like I said: this is just my feeling. Writing these letters can be an art, but I'm not that kind of artist.

-Toby
 

diogochbrito

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2009
Member Type
Student or Learner
Dear Toby,

Thank you for your comments. They were really useful.

Regards,

Diogo
 

Searching for language

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Member Type
Other
Native Language
German
Home Country
Germany
Current Location
Canada
Dear all,

I'm writing a Letter of Motivation for a Master degree and I got impressed with this forum and how usefull it can be for non English native speakers.

I would like to post my LM and would apreciate any comments about it.



LETTER OF MOTIVATION


Dear Sir or Madam

I hereby apply for entrance to the Master Programme of Design and Construction Project
Management at Chalmers University of Technology for the 2009 autumn term. I am very interested in this degree and Iam confident that my strong academic background in engineering, combined with my work experience, will fulfill your requirements.

I am a Portuguese Civil Engineer working as a site manager for a project management firm where I am improving my skills in construction management and site coordination. From 2004 to 2007 I worked in Portugal for a contractor, however in the year 2006 I had the opportunity to do an internship in Poland which gave me experience of living and working abroad. My 5 year Civil Engineering degree is specialized in concrete structures, hydraulics, geotechnics, planning and transportation. Under the ERASMUS Programme I lived and studied in Denmark for 6 months.

After 4 years of professional experience in the construction business I have aquired the maturity to decide in which area I intend to specialize. This Master Programme will contribute positively to the evolution of my career as it suits perfectly as an upgrade of the current position I hold and will allow me to develop my skills in project management.

Since 2003, during my studies in Denmark I became interested in Sweden and its culture. From my studies at Chalmers I expect to gain knowledge not only in the Swedish way of working but also in several areas where management is essential. Studying the courses included in this Master Programme will let me understand how to evaluate the viability of a project bettter, how to coordinate the interaction of the several actors, and how to be a successful project manager in international business.

Thank you for considering my application.

Yours Sincerely,


Thank you in advance,

Diogo

Not a teacher..................... I am confused by the last sentence containing "actors". Do you mean actions? or perhaps several areas of a project which could mean the people, or the timing of the work schedule? Actors are in the movies.

You seem to really like to use capitals. They are used in English only in proper names and at the beginning of sentences.In a particular management company, such as Diogo Management Company all three are capitalized, but if Diogo has a management company, only your name would be capitalized.
 
Last edited:

diogochbrito

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2009
Member Type
Student or Learner
By actors I mean the people working in the same project. About the capitals it's the Portuguese influence...

I just sent the application. Thank you for your comments.

Diogo
 

Searching for language

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Member Type
Other
Native Language
German
Home Country
Germany
Current Location
Canada
By actors I mean the people working in the same project. About the capitals it's the Portuguese influence...

I just sent the application. Thank you for your comments.

Diogo

In that case, it would be the workers, the employees, the trades people, the construction crew,

I understand about the capitals, in German, my first language, all nouns are capitalized.

Good luck with your application.
 

STCrowley

Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
Germany
Let us know how it turns out!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top