Results 1 to 2 of 2
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Sep 2008
    • Posts: 12
    #1

    Please check my gammer

    Please correct my grammar in below sentences.

    Dear All,

    After the meeting, I have discussed with my superior about the idea for the traceability system, she had rejected the idea. Thus, I would like to call a meeting again at tomorrow morning 9:00 am.

    Best Regards,

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Canada

    • Join Date: Jan 2009
    • Posts: 902
    #2

    Re: Please check my gammer

    I apologize for the length of the suggestions below. Writing business letters can be very tricky!

    Quote Originally Posted by WaiWai View Post
    Dear All,

    Hello everyone, [might be better]
    After the meeting, I have discussed with my superior about the idea for the traceability system, she had rejected the idea.
    It appears that after a previous meeting with your group, you discussed the idea for a traceability system with your superior and she rejected it. Is that right? If you are in fact dealing with outsiders, "reject" seems rather strong when applied to your superior. Perhaps "did not approve" is better. Add "as it stands" if there is still some hope for approval.

    After the meeting, I did something.
    Since the meeting, I have done something.

    Since our meeting, I have discussed [what?] the idea of a traceability system [with whom?] with my superior, but she has not approved it [as it stands].

    Thus, I would like to call a meeting again at tomorrow morning 9:00 am.
    Thus=In this way.
    Therefore=As a result. Here 'therefore' appears more likely.
    Also try to avoid commas if possible: I would therefore...

    Are you calling a meeting or requesting a meeting? If (and only if) your superior is to be present, you may want to "suggest" it, unless everyone at your company can call meetings. If your superior will not present, go ahead and call it. By the way, AM=morning (literally ante meridiem, before noon), so there is no need to say both.

    I would therefore like to call/suggest another meeting at 9 am tomorrow.

    Best Regards,

Similar Threads

  1. Check
    By Tdol in forum Phrasal Verbs
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 09-Oct-2017, 10:55
  2. [General] check and check =?
    By thedaffodils in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-Mar-2009, 14:05
  3. [Grammar] check if...
    By Daruma in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 27-Jun-2008, 12:01
  4. personal check...
    By Flyby in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 22-Jun-2008, 17:21
  5. live check to check
    By kpkroy in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 26-Jan-2008, 14:49

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •