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      • India
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    • Join Date: Aug 2006
    • Posts: 234
    #1

    Post Please correct the following sentence

    As you requested, the items which were being kept in the XL stores, have been handed over to the client on 06/01/09. The details are as follows Purchase no. inludes xlx, xlxs....etc.

    • Member Info
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      • English
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      • Canada
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    #2

    Re: Please correct the following sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by JRD View Post
    As you requested, the items which were being kept in the XL stores, have been handed over to the client on 06/01/09. The details are as follows Purchase no. inludes xlx, xlxs....etc.
    As you requested, we have on 06/01/09 handed over to the client the items that had been kept in the XL stores. The details are as follows:

    * Purchase no., including xlx, xlxs...

    Note: (1) Try to use the active voice whenever possible. (2) No comma between subject and verb. (3) "Items that" rather than "items which", because you are specifying the items: the ones you handed over. This is the least important of all my corrections. (5) Past perfect "had been", because these items were taken out of the XL stores (just) before you handed them over to the client. (4) I suggest making a bullet list of the items, for clarity.

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