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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner

    • Join Date: Jan 2009
    • Posts: 6
    #1

    Exclamation help me please..

    Somebody help me please, i need some opinion and advise or perhaps corrections of my motivation letter i made.

    hopefully somebody could help me as soon as possible. many thanks..

    Here it is..


    Dear Sir or Madam,

    My name is AD, I was born in Bandung, a city in West Java, Indonesia, in June 13th, 1985. I am a graduate of University of P, Economics Faculty, Accounting Department. I completed my undergraduate study in June 4th, 2007 with an excellent academic performance.

    I like being part of the society and make a lot of friends. Concerned with the surrounding community and environment has encouraged me getting the corporate social responsibility as topic of my unpublished thesis. As I joined the organization at my college, I found out that I have good interpersonal skills that enabled me, not only to work as an individual, but also in groups. In addition, my working experience has taught me about what good teamwork is and how essential the role of this is to contributing to a workplace.

    Experiencing an international education, enlarging my points of views, also, meeting new friends from different cultures and backgrounds, have challenged and encouraged me to continue my study abroad.

    Since I entered college, I already knew of what I would do in the future to come. I have a plan to work as an excellent financial controller or perhaps a skilled-full finance manager, whether in a company or a financial institution one day. Having in mind a future career in finance realized me to make a self-improvement of myself. I also aware of the insufficient knowledge and capabilities I have at the moment. Therefore, I need to enlarge my knowledge and skills by learning finance to build a good foundation about its theory and how to understand and implement this in practice.

    My interest in studying finance in United States has much to do with the discussion I had with my college’s Head of Department and my relatives studying in United States, as well as with the information I acquired from the Internet. Compared with other countries, this country has a lot of reputable university providing an excellent finance program. My aim to work in a field related to finance, somehow contributing to stabilize and boost some economical aspects in my country. Thus, I am convinced learning finance in United States would provide me with the necessary theoretical knowledge and practical skills I need to reach my future career.

    I hope my qualifications will receive your favorable consideration. I will be happy to meet you at your convenience and I look forward to your reply.


    Yours faithfully,



    AD

  2. English-coach's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Spain

    • Join Date: Jul 2008
    • Posts: 128
    #2

    Talking Re: help me please..

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    My name is AD, I was born in Bandung, a city in West Java, Indonesia, on June 13th, 1985. I am a graduate of the P University, Economics Faculty, Accounting Department. I completed my undergraduate studies on June 4th, 2007 with an excellent academic standing.

    I like being a part of the society and making a lot of friends. Concerns regarding the surrounding community and environment has encouraged me to choose the corporate social responsibility as my unpublished thesis topic. As I joined the organization at my college, I realized I have good interpersonal skills that enabled me, not only to work as an individual, but also as a member of a team. In addition, my work experience has taught me about what good teamwork is and how essential the role of this is to contributing within the workplace.

    Experiencing an international education, and there by expanding my points of view, also, meeting new people from different cultures and backgrounds, have challenged and encouraged me to continue my studies abroad.

    Since I entered college, I knew what I would do in the future. I plan to work as an excellent financial controller or perhaps a skilled-full finance manager, whether in a company or a financial institution. Having in mind a future career in finance encourages me to make a self-improvements. I am also aware of the insufficient knowledge and capabilities I have at the moment. Therefore, I need to broaden my knowledge and skills by learning finance to build a good foundation about its theory and how to understand and implement this in practice.

    My interest in studying finance in the United States has much to do with the discussion I had with my college’s Head of Department and my relatives studying in United States, as well as with the information I acquired from the Internet. Compared with other countries, this country has many reputable universities which provide excellent finance programs. My aim is to work in a field related to finance, and somehow contributing to stabilize and boost some economical aspects in my country. Thus, I am convinced learning finance in the United States would provide me with the necessary theoretical knowledge and practical skills I would need to reach my future career.

    I hope my qualifications will receive your favorable consideration. I will be happy to meet you, at your convenience, and I look forward to your reply.


    Yours truly,

    AD[/quote]


    Great letter AD. Just a couple things...P University??? What is the full name? Like mine was the UofC but in my resume I would say the University of Calgary.

    I hope that you get accepted. Best of luck!
    Diana
    LEARN ENGLISH BY USING IT: ANSWERS & MOTIVATION FOR ANY ENGLISH LEARNER

  3. Newbie
    Student or Learner

    • Join Date: Jan 2009
    • Posts: 6
    #3

    Talking Re: help me please..

    Thanks a lot, Diana..
    i really appreciate your help.. literally..
    yeah, i will write the full name of my University on my letter, though.
    i just didn't want to mention it here.

    well, thanks again..

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