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  1. #1
    hslh1716 is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Feb 2009

    (urgent)pls help my ps for ucas

    hello! i really need help in my ps for UCAS application. Can someone pls help me with the grammar and the content? THANKS (:

    There is no doubt that the standard and quality of United Kingdom (UK) institutions is amongst the highest in the world. The education system is also structured with flexibility which I am convinced will meet my every needs. In additions, I believe that the experience attained through interacting with people from all walks of life and the opportunities provided through the education system and the society as a whole will provide me with a holistic education.

    There are also numerous internship opportunities and other forms of cooperative education, giving us students the chance to apply what we have learnt in class to the real working world. This practical firsthand experience will help students bridge the gap between school and work, and it makes students better qualified when entering the job market.

    With reference to my knowledge, I know that UK is a multi-cultural and multi-faith country offering both strong tradition and diverse culture to all students. With the amiable and all embracing culture of UK, I am also aware that she offers a wide variety of support services such as cultural awareness programs, orientation programs and even personal counseling to help international students adapt to life in university and UK in general.

    Lastly, the cost of education to an international student in UK is generally lower than other countries. In addition, I will be able to save precious time because most degree program in UK only require three years to complete and a masters program can be typically completed in one or two years. Since time is very valuable, and is a crucial factor in determining oneís future, this time saving is indeed a very attractive factor.

    I intend to major in Business when I apply to universities in UK. There are several reasons for my choice of major. I believe that majoring in business will enable me to use preemptive approach learnt to solve both business and non-business related problems, combining the best parts of several solutions into a unique and effective solution.
    In addition, I feel that by majoring in business, I will have a global perspective on things, which will hence allow me to think profoundly and handle problems better. This is especially important as one needs to be above and in control of the situation in order to have a thorough grasp of the situation and to have confidence to perform well.
    Lastly, business involves communications. I feel that I will be able to contribute, learn and work with people of all nationalities, especially in a cosmopolitan city like UK, which is made up of people from all over the world. Therefore, by immersing in a diverse and dynamic learning environment, I strongly believe that it will enhance my learning, and better prepare me for the challenges in life.

    My immediate plans upon completing my National Service would be to find a job in the business industry. I am particularly interested in the field of Insurance. At the present time, I have already obtained the basic qualifications to be an insurance agent in both General and Life insurance; Iíve also undergone training to be a financial advisor at Singapore College of Insurance. I am currently enrolled for a diploma program in general insurance and risk management while fulfilling my national service commitments.
    My long-term plan would be to assist my parents in our family business, which operates an insurance agency, and eventually take over the business when they retire. I endeavor to emulate their work ethics and excellence; and will strive to bring the business to greater heights.

    As I conclude, I strongly believe that studying in UK will not only allow me to receive a high standard of education, but my life will also be enriched with life experiences which cannot be learnt from books. Therefore, I am convinced that studying in UK is the right decision and I am determined to strive and achieve the highest level of accomplishment while in UK.

  2. #2
    chamchaa is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Aug 2009

    Re: (urgent)pls help my ps for ucas

    As someone who edits personal statements on a regular basis i can say the following:

    1. your grammar and use of the English language is not bad at all and only requires a small amount of tweaking

    2. However I would suggest that you should change the content a little. As you will be competing with UK home students for the University places, it is important to convey as much information as possible in your personal statement about:

    - who you are
    - what makes you suitable for the course
    - why you want to study the COURSE, rather than why you want to study in England.

    It will suffice to have a maximum of two or three sentences about why you want to study in England. The rest of the personal statement should be focussed on why you want to study the course itself. This is more specific, and more useful for an admissions tutor to read.

    If you still want help with this I would recommend you visit the website I work for. However due to the forum rules I am not allowed to "advertise" the website, so send me a private message if you want more information.

    Good luck!

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