Student or Learner
May no one cry either
Or those who always smile, may not smile
May no one has the money called disease either
Or may rich people learn sharing
Could you check this ?
This appears to be poetry. Do your opening "mays" indicate a wish? Or just possibilities?
There is no "correct" revision. One thing about the "may" in a wish is that the word order is always, without exception, "May-subject-verb". In this style, "either" with a negative tends to take the (biblical) form "Neither shall they XXX...".
Likewise may no one cry
Or else let the smiling frown
Likewise may the money plague spare all
Or else the weathy learn to share.
But truly there is no "correct" way to write poetry. Write out your own translation in prose, than arrange it to cut as many words out as you can.
PS. I worked that out as you and Bhaisahab exchanged posts. I think on balance Bhaisahab's suggestions are the best ones in every way.
Last edited by abaka; 04-Feb-2009 at 20:14. Reason: added ps