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    • Join Date: Feb 2009
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    Rephrasing a sentence

    Good Morning

    How can I rephrase the following sentence in order to make it sound a bit more punchy and a less elongated?!

    Hope you can advise.

    "Having been denied all forms of prospective training courses whilst on leave, in order to make up for lost time within the first few months of returning to work, I therefore wish to complete a number of courses available in the Spring/Summer 2009 catalogue and I would like confirmation that responsibilities will not impinge on my partaking of these courses.

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    • Join Date: Jan 2009
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    Re: Rephrasing a sentence

    In general, don't be afraid to write several shorter sentences. And use as many active verbs as you can, in place of indirect participial constructions and noun phrases. I gather that you are addressing your superiors at work.

    During my leave, I had no opportunity for any prospective training. To make up for lost time as quickly as possible, I would like to enroll in several courses this spring and summer. I hope, and would like to confirm, that this training will not interfere with my responsibilies at work.

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