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  1. Fernanda- Brasil
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    #1

    Red face Help with the letter

    Can you check this letter for me...
    thank you

    "Dear Dr.,

    My name is Fernanda Barja Fidalgo. I am currently starting a PhD program in experimental and clinical physiopathology at Rio de Janeiro State University, Brazil. I am considering applying for a stage in a laboratory outside Brazil. I am writing to you because of yours studies in the gingival microcirculation, which is my area of study. My thesis research deals with gingival microcirculation in diabetics, obeses and normoglycemic children and teenagers. I would like to have this outsider experience in your laboratory. Can you tell me what opportunities might be available in your University?

    I will be happy to provide any further information you may require.
    Thank you for your time
    Yours sincerely

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jan 2008
    • Posts: 2,944
    #2

    Re: Help with the letter

    I would be more specific: do you want to meet with him to discuss your needs? How will this benefit him?

    You need to explain exactly what you need from your collaboration.

  2. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jan 2009
    • Posts: 3,615
    #3

    Re: Help with the letter

    Quote Originally Posted by Fernanda- Brasil View Post
    Can you check this letter for me...
    thank you

    "Dear Dr.,

    My name is Fernanda Barja Fidalgo. I am xxx starting a PhD program in experimental and clinical physiopathology at Rio de Janeiro State University, Brazil and am considering applying for a stay in a laboratory outside Brazil. I am writing to you because of yours studies in the gingival microcirculation, which is my area of study. My thesis research deals with gingival microcirculation in diabetics, obese and normoglycemic children and teenagers. I would like to have this xxx experience in your laboratory. Can you tell me what opportunities might be available in your university?

    I would be happy to provide any further information you may require.
    Thank you for your time.
    Yours sincerely,
    "Currently" is understood.
    Starting two sentences in a row with "I am" is careless.
    "Stage"? Unless this is a medical word I've never heard, I think you mean "stay."
    "Outsider" is understood.

    Susie might be right. I don't know anything about applying for this kind of placement.

    [I edit copy and have tutored college writing.]

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