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    #1

    text for corrections

    Hi fellow members
    Could some member/s, please correct the text below for me?
    Many thanks.

    Aikido, founded by Morihei Ueshiba, is one of the oldest forms of Japanese martial arts. In aikido, force is never opposed with force. The aikido practitioner will harmonise with the attacking force, guiding it with flowing circular motions to control and overcome the attacker. Various techniques can then be applied in the form of locks or throws.

    Aikido’s graceful movements make it appear to look like a dance. Being non-aggressive, aikido does not initiate an attack. In aikido, punches and kicks are seldom used.

    Aikido's movements and techniques are circular. A firm centre is needed to create this circle. An example of a firm circle is a spinning top that turns at fast speed. Without a firm centre, the speed of movement will only create imbalance. The stillness of the spinning top while in speeding motion is what is called ‘sumikiri’ in aikido language. This is achieved only by what aikido founder calls "total clarity of mind and body."

    Training, as well as concentration, is important in aikido because, while it may be easy to create a centred being when inside a martial arts gymnasium, it is different when the practitioner is involved in a real situation when it will not be easy to remain calm. Aikido aims to teach its practitioners to maintain their composure and their centredness when involved in real situations when their lives are at stake.

    Aikido is not only a form of self-defence, but it is also effective as an exercise to promote physical health, peace of mind and concentration. Although there are different styles of aikido, the most basic ideology is their emphasis is on achieving peace and harmony.

  1. Monticello's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: text for corrections

    Hi Tan,

    This piece is extremely well-written. It demonstrates an excellent understanding of sentence and paragraph construction within a well-planned organizational structure. In so doing, the information that it imparts about an exotic martial art, aikido, becomes readily understandable, even to the uninitiated (such as myself).

    The only things that I would consider adapting (and this would depend upon the intended audience) would be the piece's British alternate spellings, "harmonise," "centre," centred," and "centredness." An American reading audience would instead expect "harmonize," "center," "centered," and "centeredness."

    Makes me want to learn more about aikido!
    Last edited by Monticello; 20-Feb-2009 at 00:28.

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    #3

    Re: text for corrections

    Many thanks, Monticello.

    Aikido is a graceful and gentle art. It makes use of the opponent's strength to defeat him. It is like ballet dancing. The only difference is the opponent won't know where he is going until he is on the ground, groaning in pain.

  2. Monticello's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: text for corrections

    Likewise - Many thanks, Tan, for the enlightening introduction to aikido.

    The thing I find most interesting about aikido is how it functions at once as both a martial art and a spiritual discipline. Reminds me of the classic book:

    Zen in the Art of Archery

    by Eugen Herrigel

    Given your interest in aikido, you may also be interested in reading the Forward (written by Daisetz T. Suzuki) to this book -- that is, if you haven't already.

    If you are interested, just click on the above link, which I've cut & pasted here from a Google book search.

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