Results 1 to 2 of 2

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 4
    #1

    Help with the below sentence

    I'm trying to give an example to one of my essay writing and i think i'm struggling to write the example in an academic format. Below is the example, please do help me to correct it and if there is a way to write it inorder not to be too descriptive. I will be grateful. Thanks

    For example, at the pretend hair salon; a group of four year olds decided to become hairdressers; other children were invited to wash and treat their hair. All the children worked together by passing each other resources such as brush, shampoo, conditioners, etch whilst washing the hair. Thus, it promotes their interaction, sharing and co-operative skills.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Feb 2009
    • Posts: 30
    #2

    Re: Help with the below sentence

    I am not sure that I completely understand your request. Your paragraph was well written, and to the point, without too much detail. Other than a small correction here or there, you should not change a thing.

    For example, at the pretend hair salon a group of four year olds decided to become hairdressers. Other children were invited to wash and treat the hair. All the children worked together by passing each other resources such as a brush, shampoo, and conditioner while treating the hair of their classmates. This promoted interaction, sharing, and co-operative skills between the students.

    I hope this is what you are looking for. It would help if I better understood the assignment, and your native language. Your profile shows your native language as English. And while your native language is obviously not English, you are doing well!

Similar Threads

  1. A question about using "that" in a sentence
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 03-Nov-2009, 13:05
  2. the whole sentence used as a noun
    By hamoodee in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-Oct-2006, 16:55
  3. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 13-Sep-2006, 14:07
  4. Attributive Clause - China Needs Your Help
    By ChinaDavid in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 09-Jan-2005, 16:56
  5. grammar
    By jiang in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 17-Dec-2003, 20:02

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •