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    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 1

    Post Proof read essay please(its for applying to a colelge

    btw(sorry for spelling college wrong) I am currently trying to be enroled in a college, and i must write an essay. please tell me how you feel about the essay, and correct any errors. Also tell me if its messy and if i need to re-do anything or just give me your opinion on it. Would you accept me to your college if you read this?
    Here is the topic:
    As part of our mission to provide students with a liberal arts education, Georgia College strives to create an atmosphere that instills in students exceptional qualities of mind and character including respect for human diversity and individuality. Given your own individual background, life experiences, and personal identity, how will you contribute to the overall diversity of the student body at Georgia College?

    I am one of those people you will see, walking down the side of the street and smiling. I enjoy life. I was blessed to have been born in a free country to Christian parents who are loving and well educated. Consequently, respecting other people – no matter how different they are—comes naturally to me. I was raised to be respectful of others, but it was not a very difficult lesson to learn. You see, I really enjoy being with others. I enjoy talking with them, laughing with them, reading about them, watching them on film, and creating them as characters in stories and art work.
    My grandmother is an artist; my mother is an actress; and my dad is an architect. You could say I have the “creative” gene in my DNA. I love doing activities that allow me to create, be myself and make things my own by adding my unique twist and flair to it –so when someone sees it they will automatically know it was me. My first job allowed me to experience a practical way of wielding my creativity. I worked for a Studio called; Creative Artists and we did just about everything. From filming weddings to graduations, plays, ballet, and even editing our own videos, we did it all. It was a great way to meet many people and learn in the field I am interested in getting a degree in.
    “One can walk the streets of almost any major city in America and see diversity — but unless you are living, working and playing together with people from varied backgrounds and experiences, you will never fully experience diversity’s most powerful impact.” -Harvard Professor Richard Light. My hope is that my participation in Georgia College will add diversity to the student body, and also myself be exposed to new communities and cultures. I think most colleges are not as diverse as they should be, and I strive to surround myself with the many beautiful cultures that inhabit our country. Having a large variety of different people will add to the overall uniqueness to a school, and I understand the importance of that.

    i am not very skilled at writting essays yet so please help
    Last edited by Little Kira-chan; 28-Mar-2009 at 01:49.

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