This is a well-written piece. Below, I've suggested corrections and provided comments:
Under an extreme state of curiosity,If I were given the power to read minds, out of a vexing curiosity (I've reworded your introductory clause and placed it here (1) for better readability and (2) to subordinate it to the main purpose: "If I were given ...") I would be inclined to read the mind of my mother. My mother , all her life,(In this sentence, you later add " ... was always ...". Thus "... all her life," is not necessary.) from what I have been told,(The preceding clause makes it sound as if your mother was a stranger to you. Is this what you really intend?) was always a very kind and hardworking woman. Yet (I feel that) I never actually got to know her, because at the young age of 64 she iswas stricken with early onset Alzheimer’s disease. Due to this disease, her mental state slowly dissociated over the course of the last few years, and eventually she became what she is today, a near mindless caricature of her former self. Upon witnessing her mental decline over the course of time, I am left wondering what has become of her mind.
On a daily basis, I see my mother attempting (Changing the actions to the progressive here provides more immediacy.) to talk to something she sees,
mumblemumbling, slurring her speech, and pacepacing around to what appears to be a constant ongoing daydream. (End of sentence. Replace the comma with a period here.) But I am unsure. I amfind myself always examining and questioning (Again, for readability, when "examining and questioning" are placed together, your final clause in the sentence, "after examining each of them" becomes unnecessary.) everyoneevery one (- two separate words here, as "everyone" -- as one word -- means "all people.") of her actions. after examining each of them.It seems to me likeas if she is trying to reach out to the world. (End of sentence.) But is she? I wish toI could read her mind in order to find out.
Scientifically speaking, I wonder, what
willwould (As your thoughts here are speculative, throughout this paragraph I've replaced the future 'tense' with the 'conditional.') I find? Will I find-a mind in torment with itself? will I find- her happy and well? Or willwould I be able to understand anything I discoverat all within the inner workings of her cogitations? I really do not know what , if anything,(You've already conveyed "if anything" in the preceding sentence. Doing so again here not only adds redundancy, but also breaks the flow of this longer sentence.) I willwould achieve fromby any such mind reading. I do, butYet I do sense that I amwould be significantly assured that it will have significance in the fact that Iby actually willgetting to know my mother -- and a mind confounded by Alzheimer’s disease. This cancould help me in treating her, and possiblepossibly help me to help others like her in the future, (Here, "... in the future ..." is already suggested by "should the need ever arise.") mayshould it be needed.the need ever arise. Since, after all, being her son, I, too, am at risk of developing this disease. as well.But at the end of it all, I cancould rest assure(Comma deleted here.) in knowing that my thirst and curiosity willhas finally been fed and I will havethat I've one less mystery to hinder my thoughts.
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