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  1. Ever Student's Avatar
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    #1

    Smile Would you please read my poem?

    Hi,

    "Iraninan Rug"

    My bird on branches of the rug
    Invites your feet to the black wings,
    Which greeting with a warm hug,
    Getting more dark when it sings

  2. Soup's Avatar
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    English Teacher
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    #2

    Re: Would you please read my poem?

    Hi taghavi

    I enjoyed reading your poem. Thank you.

    If I could make a few suggestions:
    Iranian Rug

    My bird on branches of the rug,
    Inviting your feet to its black wings,
    Greeting you with a warm hug,
    Getting darker when it sings.

  3. Ever Student's Avatar
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      • Native Language:
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    #3

    Re: Would you please read my poem?

    Hi,
    You're welcome!
    your ideas are put forward for me to think more. Thanks a lot!

    Would you please read the following poem?

    "The Differece"
    Your seas and sky are both white,
    While my mountains and woods are black.
    The map is showing the grey sight,
    Hasn't been seen the face and the back.

  4. Soup's Avatar
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    English Teacher
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    #4

    Re: Would you please read my poem?

    "The Differece"

    Your seas and sky are both white,
    While my mountains and woods are black.
    The map is showing the grey sight,
    Hasn't been seen the face and the back.
    1. Do you mean site, not 'sight'?
    2. Hasn't been seen by the face or the back.

  5. Ever Student's Avatar
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      • Native Language:
      • Persian
      • Home Country:
      • Iran
      • Current Location:
      • Iran

    • Join Date: Aug 2008
    • Posts: 1,061
    #5

    Re: Would you please read my poem?

    Hi,
    I meant " site" sorry for my mistakes.

    Thank you.

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