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    #1

    child learning

    If you see any problems in the following sentences, can I have your comments?( it is about how children learn)

    1. While the older research focused on what children lacked, with the help of newly found information, psychologists could find out that young children has the capabilites to develop conceptual thoughts. It contrasted the older findings.

    2.Researchers once thought that to develop abstract thoughts, children first should be able to express their thoughts in spoken words( or verbally)

  1. Monticello's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: child learning

    Quote Originally Posted by bosun View Post
    If you see any problems in the following sentences, can I have your comments?( it is about how children learn)

    1. While the older research focused on what children lacked, with the help of newly found information, psychologists could find out that young children has the capabilites to develop conceptual thoughts. It contrasted the older findings.

    2.Researchers once thought that to develop abstract thoughts, children first should be able to express their thoughts in spoken words( or verbally)
    Hi bosun,

    For your first sentence, you might want to consider a two-step process: (1) editing; (2) revising.

    First things first. Editing:
    While the older research focused on what children lacked, with the help of newly found information, psychologists could find out that can determine if young children has have the capabilites to capabilities for developing conceptual thoughts. It contrasted the older findings.
    Now the more difficult part: Revising.

    As a reader of your sentence, I have the following questions in regard to the contrast you are presenting between older and more recent research:
    • Exactly how did the older research focus on what children lacked?
    • Does the new research accept the findings of the former research?
    • Or does the new research make obsolete some or all of the findings of the former research?
    • Exactly how does the new research equip psychologists with the ability to make the determinations you write about here?
    Answering these and other questions for your reader will demand more than a single sentence. At least a paragraph is called for here. Some rudimentary advice for paragraph writing can be found here: Paragraphs.

    You may also wish to take a look at III. Elementary Principles of Composition, the third chapter from William Strunk Jr.'s The Elements of Style (1918). The advice given here is much more encompassing and so well worth your effort to review as a means for improving your writing.

    Good luck!

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