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  1. Ever Student's Avatar
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    #1

    Post Can you help me in my poem.

    "Hunting"

    Rising flames of eyes,
    Craming dancing gazelles,
    Gathered from all sides
    Filling grove with yells.

  2. Ever Student's Avatar
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    • Join Date: Aug 2008
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    #2

    Re: Can you help me in my poem.

    Hi David,

    Gazelle is a kind of small antelope like a deer which can runs very fast. I meant, when a wild animal wants to hunt gazelles, it looks at them carefully somewhat you can see in its eyes the gazelles moving around there.

    No, I mean "craming" means that filled with gazelles in that area, which the wild animal hunts.


    • Join Date: Nov 2007
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    #3

    Re: Can you help me in my poem.

    OK. I realize poetry might need some considerably abstract thinking, but with 'gazelle' being the only animal mentioned in the stanze, how is the reader supposed to know that the first line refers to the 'predators'?

    Perhaps a previous stanza 'sets the scene'??

  3. Ever Student's Avatar
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      • Native Language:
      • Persian
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    • Join Date: Aug 2008
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    #4

    Re: Can you help me in my poem.

    Yes, you are right. Thanks for your suggestion. I try to revise the poem.

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