Student or Learner
14 May 2009
It wasn’t until I experienced hitting rock bottom that I learned about love. There is a time in everyone’s life when you experience something dramatic. Life can be an amazing experience when you make the right choices but the repercussions of choosing the wrong path is hard to deal with.. I’ve had my turn choosing the wrong path but in the end when you have someone who helped you through it; it will bring you closer together.
I didn’t always have my priorities together. The summer of 2002, I was just a lost young girl trying to find her way. No one explained to me how difficult life was and unfair it could be. I was just 17 and was going through a breakup when I meet him. I remembered him asking if I was ok, and when I said yes; chris didn’t believe me. I started going down the wrong path later that year. I was trying to fill this void I had inside of me and didn’t understand why I felt so empty. When Chris and I hung out was the only time things seemed normal. Days at the springs and underwater adventures can pull anyone’s spirits up. We drove up to Pensacola one night to visit his parents and I knew that I wanted to be with him. He was exciting, intuitive, sexy and drove me absolutely crazy.
The next day I was feeling sick so I tried eating some crackers to settle my stomach. When I was still feeling ill later that day; I decided that I would go to the doctor and get some antibiotics. When the nurse came in with a puzzled look on her face; I grew concerned. She sat me down and the next sentence out of her mouth would change my life forever. “your pregnant.” “Pregnant!” It was a situation I knew I was not ready for. When I told Chris later that day on the phone; an awkward silence developed between us and naturally our relationship went on hold.
As my belly got bigger and so did my feelings for Chris. He was there for me when the father wasn’t. and I could always depend on him for the things I couldn’t get anywhere else. When I needed to cry; he was there waiting. When I needed to talk; he was the first one to ask me how I was doing. When I needed someone at the hospital; It was him that was sound asleep beside me.I still remember the doctor coming into the room and tell me Mckensy’s heartbeat was dropping and my blood pressure was through the roof. The doctors came into the cold room and told me that a emergency c-section was the only way to be safe. I agreed and Chris was right there beside me. Mckensy Leigh Casey was born at Gulf Coast Medical Center at 5:30 p.m. She was 7 pounds 6 ounces and very healthy.
Later that year, I was still going in the wrong direction. I started drinking alot and going out with friends. I was sending Mckensy to her grandparents house often just so I could have fun. I was putting my selfish ways ahead of my hers. Chris finally had enough and explained to me the importance of my daughter. He told me he didn’t want to see anything happen to us and that he loved us. I truly believe if Chris had not stopped my downward spiral that I would not have my daughter today. Our friendship grow closer together and we were hanging out a lot more; learning from each other
On May 11th, 2008 was when my whole world changed. It was a beautiful night out and everything just seemed to fall into place. I looked into his passionate intense eyes and finally got the courage to kiss his soft lips. My life flashed before me, and all the fears I once had were gone. I fell in love with him at that very moment and It continues to grow to this day.
It is now May 2009 and our love is still strong and going great. Whenever you think life doesn’t get any worse; it does. For the first time in my life I feel beautiful and connected with myself and my daughter. I feel like I have came along way and everyone is really proud of me. I started school at Gulf Coast Community College and trying to persue a career in the medical field. It has been a great accomplishment for me to have enrolled in school and I have grown into a wonderful mother.
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