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    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 5
    #1

    Exclamation Please .. help me

    I would be grateful if you could please correct any mistakes in this passage.







    There is a classical story about a mother beleived in spanking

    as a necessary part of discipline till she saw her five years old daughter hitting her small brother.


    When she asked her why did she do that she answered with all innocent
    "I just do what my mother does" Obviously, after this stuation , the mother never hit any child in her life.

    Every single knows that there are lots disadvantages of spanking.


    Using spanking is a very bad manner which causes adverse reactions and leaves deep psycological wounds.


    For sure that leads into aggression, and when I say aggression I mean behave in thraetening & angry way.


    Also, spanking causes fear, nightmares, low-self esteem which means the child doesn't feel he is liked or respected.

    Actually, spanking leads the child to use the violence with those who are yonger and less power than him, in the same time makes him afraid of those who are older than him.

    Recently, I tried to collect some alternative methods for spanking which proved its effectiveness in kids behavior reform.

    You can use the punishment chair. it is appropriate way to punish your kids if they misbehave or did something bad instead of hitting them.

    In my opinion, deprivation is a very usefull technique .when you prevent your kids of their toys or something they love for thier own good.

    Ignoring the child is a ssuccessful method to make your child listen & do to what you want him to do.

    befor all these steps , you supposed to put instructions & make previuos deal between you & your kids it is not allowed to penetrate the instructions.





    THANK YOU FOR CORRECTION
    Last edited by lolitta.s; 25-May-2009 at 01:17.

  1. Soup's Avatar
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    English Teacher
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      • Native Language:
      • English
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      • Canada
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    • Join Date: Sep 2007
    • Posts: 5,882
    #2

    Re: Please .. help me

    There is a classical story about a mother who believed spanking a necessary part of discipline until she saw her five-year-old daughter hit her younger brother.


    When she asked her why did she did it, she answered innocently, "I'm just doing what my mother does." After that, the mother never hit her children again.

    ...


    • Join Date: Apr 2009
    • Posts: 394
    #3

    Re: Please .. help me

    Soup got you started, and I'll chip in a few lines:

    "Every single knows that there are lots disadvantages of spanking."

    --> Everyone knows that there are lots of disadvantages to spanking.

    (Every single what?)

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------


    "Using spanking is a very bad manner which causes adverse reactions and leaves deep psycological wounds."

    --> Spanking is a form of punishment that causes adverse reactions and leaves deep psychological wounds (scars).

    -----------------------------------------------------------------

    "For sure that leads into aggression, and when I say aggression I mean behave in thraetening & angry way."

    --> It almost certainly leads to aggression (aggressive behavior).

    If you are writing this for people who speak English, don't explain what common words mean. It can actually be a bit offensive because it makes the reader feel as though you think he's an idiot.

    Also, don't use an ampersand (&) in ordinary text as a substitute for the word
    and. Only use an ampersand if it's part of the name of something. For example: "I stopped at A&P on the way home to pick up some milk." (A&P is a big chain of grocery stores in America.)
    Greg

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