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    • Join Date: Jul 2008
    • Posts: 30
    #1

    How to say this??

    hi, how to say this sentence in a more professional way??


    i was robbed when i was at new zealand.
    since my eye sight has been affected, i have to go for proper medication and cannot resume to work until the doctor certify me that i am perfectly ok to fly a plane.


    Your reply will be much appreciated.
    regards.


    • Join Date: Apr 2009
    • Posts: 394
    #2

    Re: How to say this??

    hi, how to say this sentence in a more professional way??


    i was robbed when i was at new zealand.
    since my eye sight has been affected, i have to go for proper medication and cannot resume to work until the doctor certify me that i am perfectly ok to fly a plane.
    Before I can correct this, I need to understand just a little more about the context. Are you a professional pilot? The reason I'm asking is because that's what it sounds like from what you wrote here. If you are not, then it would help a lot if you could clarify this just a bit more.

    Greg


    • Join Date: Jul 2008
    • Posts: 30
    #3

    Re: How to say this??

    Hi greg,
    thanks for your concern.

    I'm not a professional pilot. I'm a part time tuition teacher. Sometimes i need to explain to the why the sentence are wrong.
    I have to give a valid reason to my students to correct them.

    thank you.


    • Join Date: Apr 2009
    • Posts: 394
    #4

    Re: How to say this??

    I'm not a professional pilot. I'm a part time tuition teacher. Sometimes i need to explain to the why the sentence are wrong.
    I have to give a valid reason to my students to correct them.
    Sorry. I realize it probably sounded like a stupid question, but I needed to be sure because the context is a bit unclear. How about this:

    "I was robbed while I was in New Zealand, and in the scuffle my eye(s) was (were) injured. I had to see a doctor, and he gave me some medication; however, I cannot return to (name of country) to go back to work until the doctor says it's all right for me to fly."

    There are plenty of variations, but I hope this captures your meaning.

    As for specific errors in the original:

    1.
    Say in New Zealand, not at New Zealand.

    2. Eyesight is one word.

    3.
    You can resume work or resume working, but you cannot resume to work.

    4. Certifies, not certify.

    5. Don't say "...the doctor certifies me that I am perfectly OK..." Leave out the me. You could say "...until the doctor certifies me ready to fly..."

    6. Since the speaker is not a pilot, many might consider it preferable to say "fly on a plane." This, however, is not necessarily a mistake. We would still assume the correct meaning regardless.

    7. got caps? (That is, a few well-placed capital letters would be nice.)

    There are a few spots I would rephrase, but that doesn't mean they represent grammatical errors.


    Greg
    Last edited by dragn; 31-May-2009 at 06:14.

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