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    #1

    Would you check my attempt of rephrasing of 13 sentences?

    Dear teachers,

    Would you be kind enough to tell me whether I am right with my attempt at rephrasing the following sentences?

    1.1.I have a good mind not to let you go out.With such a cold you ought to be in bed.
    1.2.I don’t think I should let you go out. With such a cold you ought to be in bed.
    1.3.I don’t feel inclined to let you go out. With such a cold you ought to be in bed.

    2.1. I have a good mind not to do it at all unless he takes back all the nasty things he said.
    2.2. I have no intention of doing it at all unless he takes back all the nasty things he said.

    3.1.We all took to him at once, h was so absolutely charming.
    3.2. We all took a fancy to him at once, he was so absolutely charming.
    3.3. We all liked him at once, he was so absolutely charming.

    4.1. Now I come to think of it, I did say something of the kind.
    4.2. Now that I remember, I did say something of the kind.

    5.1. She is simply worn to a frazzle as it is, without being saddled with another job.
    5.2.She is simply exhausted as it is, without being saddles with another job.

    6.1. He is just drifting along, I don’t know what is come over him.
    6.2. He is just inactive; I don’t know what is come over him.

    7.1. I’m simply itching to tell them the news.
    7.2. I’m simply longing to tell them the news.
    7.3. I’m simply dying to tell them the news.

    8.1. She shouldn’t always be letting them have things their own way; she should put her foot down.
    8.2.She shouldn’t always be letting them have things their own way, but she should put a stop to it.

    9.1. I don’t know how they get wind in the whole business.
    9.2. I don’t know how they learn about the whole business.

    10.1. What holds true for you holds true for me.
    10.2. What is good for you is good for me.
    10.3. What applies to you applies to me.

    11.1. We shall have to let matters stand until we get more proof.
    11.2. We shall have to let things remain as they are until we get more proof.

    12.1. Well, you figure out yourself, is such a thing possible?
    12.2. Well, you think it over, is such a thing possible?

    13.1. I go there every once in a while when I need a change.
    13.2. I go there when I need a change.

    Thank you for your efforts.

    Regards,

    V.
    Last edited by vil; 02-Jun-2009 at 18:11.

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    #2

    Re: Would you check my attempt of rephrasing of 13 sentences?

    The verb 'remember' in sentence 4.2 requires no preposition.

  1. Raymott's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Would you check my attempt of rephrasing of 13 sentences?

    Quote Originally Posted by wace View Post
    The verb 'remember' in sentence 4.2 requires no preposition.
    Yes it does, with the use of "seems".
    I seem to remember ... Right
    I seem remember ...
    Wrong

    But 4.2 is awkward.
    Now that I remember, I did say something of the kind. This would be more usual.
    Last edited by Raymott; 02-Jun-2009 at 16:36.


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    #4

    Re: Would you check my attempt of rephrasing of 13 sentences?

    I am not an English teacher. I am an editor at a U.S. university and teach writing to students.



    4.1. Now I come to think of it, I did say something of the kind.
    4.2. Now that I remember, I did say something of the kind.
    Now that I remember my words, I did say something of the kind.
    Now that I recall the incident, I did say something of the kind.

    5.2. She is simply exhausted as it is, without being saddled with another job. (Need past tense saddled)

    6.2 He is just inactive, I don’t know what is come over him.
    He is adrift; I don’t know what has come over him. (“Drifting along” means a lack of purpose)
    (The model sentence is a comma splice. Either make the model two sentences, or join the two independent clauses with a semi-colon)

    8.2 She shouldn’t always be letting them have things their own way, she should put a stop to it.
    She shouldn’t always let them have their own way; she should put a stop to it.
    She shouldn’t always let them have their own way, but put a stop to it.

    9.2. I don’t know how they learn about the whole business. (Needs past tense verb learned - they have already learned about the business)
    I don’t know how they learned about the whole business.

    10.1. What holds true for you holds true for me.
    What is true for you is true for me.

    12.1 Well, you figure out yourself, is such a thing possible?
    Well, figure it out for yourself. Is such a thing possible? (“You” can be retained or dropped as the implied subject of “yourself.” )
    This model is definitely an example of informal speech. My fourth-grade teacher continually corrected me for beginning spoken sentences with “well.” She finally broke me of the habit when she showed her exasperation by saying, “If you dig one more well in this classroom, we are all going to drown!” The class roared in laughter, and I never used “well” to start another sentence.

    13.2. I go there from time to time when I need a change.
    Occasionally, I go there when I need a change.
    I go there on occasion when I need a change.
    I go there when I need a change. (You could easily omit from time to time because “when I need a change” implies this action is not a routine action.)

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    #5

    Re: Would you check my attempt of rephrasing of 13 sentences?

    [quote=Raymott;480563]Yes it does, with the use of "seems".
    I seem to remember ... Right
    I seem remember ... Wrong

    Raymott, that's not what I had in mind. I thought I'd read 'I remembered of something' which is clearly wrong. I guess I was hallucinating...
    Anyway, I apologize.
    Thank you.

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