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    #1

    Usage question

    How can I express better the following sentiment of deep grief?

    My words and smiles are only short interludes between feelings of vast emptiness, a deep, eerie silence that no sound can break, an utter loneliness that no company can relieve.

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    #2

    Re: Usage question

    I wouldn't associate your words with the smiles, or would at least qualify it; otherwise, it undermines all your words.

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    #3

    Re: Usage question

    What about:



    My words and occasional smiles are only short interludes between feelings of vast emptiness, a deep, eerie silence that no sound can break, an utter loneliness that no company can relieve.

    Or:

    Yes, I talk, I smile, I laugh. But those are only short interludes between feelings of vast emptiness, a deep, eerie silence that no sound can break, an utter loneliness that no company can relieve.

    (This is the actual situation: I lost recently the most beloved person of my life—my wife of many years. I am in deep grief. The other day in the grocery store suddenly the grief so overwhelmed me that for a few moments I was unable to move (probably because it temporarily robbed me of all energy). Yet when visitors come I can behave or pretend to behave normally while still feeling lonely and empty inside. My comedian friend can even make me laugh. But when they leave I tend to go back to the same state of grief. This is what I am trying to express in a sentence or two.)

  1. Raymott's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Usage question

    Quote Originally Posted by sane View Post
    What about:



    My words and occasional smiles are only short interludes between feelings of vast emptiness, a deep, eerie silence that no sound can break, an utter loneliness that no company can relieve.

    Or:

    Yes, I talk, I smile, I laugh. But those are only short interludes between feelings of vast emptiness, a deep, eerie silence that no sound can break, an utter loneliness that no company can relieve.

    (This is the actual situation: I lost recently the most beloved person of my life—my wife of many years. I am in deep grief. The other day in the grocery store suddenly the grief so overwhelmed me that for a few moments I was unable to move (probably because it temporarily robbed me of all energy). Yet when visitors come I can behave or pretend to behave normally while still feeling lonely and empty inside. My comedian friend can even make me laugh. But when they leave I tend to go back to the same state of grief. This is what I am trying to express in a sentence or two.)
    Your sentence sounds quite alright to me. It is not specific to grief though; it could apply to any lonely or depressed person, since you've given no cause for it in the sentence.
    (I hope you can manage to slowly climb out of this).

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