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    #1

    Violent films shoudn’t be shown

    please help me to check my writing.

    Topic 1 :Violent films shoudn’t be shown. Do you agree or disagree?

    Should violent films be shown? Although this kind of film is fascinating, I believe that they have bad influence on our behavior and our mind.

    Watching violent films makes us more violent. We watch them and they make us curious, fascinated and insane. We can’t distinguish between the reality and the scene in films. We didn’t also realize that violent films have consequences. One time, I saw a silly man. As watching too many violent films, he confused a man with a giant and atracked him. He didn’t even know where he was and what he was doing. It is like he was living in a confusing world with only violence.

    Every violent film also makes an impression on people. How big this impression depends on a person, his characteristic features, his weak and strong sides. For instance, my sister watched the film that named “Murder”. It is a violent film with a man killing anybody he saw. The murder appeared as a wild beast thirsted for blood. His hand was full of blood and his eyes were bright red. After watching this film, my sister couldn’t sleep. She felt that the murder was coming her bed and killing her. She cried with fear and screamed. For several days, she was afraid and never watched any violent film.

    In conclusion, I agree that violent film shouldn’t be shown because it is always positive.

    245 WORDS

    Please help me to check the topic too because I made it up.
    Last edited by san2612; 29-Jun-2009 at 06:32.

  1. Raymott's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Violent films shoudn’t be shown

    Quote Originally Posted by san2612 View Post
    please help me to check my writing.

    topic 1 :violent films shoudn’t be shown. Do you agree or disagree?

    should violent films be shown? Although this kind of film is fascinating, i believe that they have bad influence on our behavior and our mind.

    Watching violent films makes us more violent. We watch them and they make us curious, fascinated and insane. We can’t distinguish between the reality and the scene in films. We didn’t also realize that violent films have consequences. One time, i saw a silly man. As watching too many violent films, he confused a man with a giant and atracked him. He didn’t even know where he was and what he was doing. It is like he was living in a confusing world with only violence.
    i don't think it's ever been shown that watching violent films causes insanity. But as long as this is a pure opinion piece, you could probably get away with logically invalid arguments.

    every violent film also makes an impression on people. How big this impression depends on a person, his characteristic features, his weak and strong sides. For instance, my sister watched the film that named “murder”. It is a violent film with a man killing anybody he saw. The murder appeared as a wild beast thirsted for blood. His hand was full of blood and his eyes were bright red. After watching this film, my sister couldn’t sleep. She felt that the murder was coming her bed and killing her. She cried with fear and screamed. For several days, she was afraid and never watched any violent film.

    in conclusion, i agree that violent film shouldn’t be shown because it is always positive.
    do you mean negative?

    245 words

    please help me to check the topic too because i made it up.
    r.

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    #3

    Re: Violent films shoudn’t be shown

    Thank you very much.
    I think this writing is very poor, but I will try to improve my writing.

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Violent films shoudn’t be shown

    Quote Originally Posted by san2612 View Post
    Thank you very much.
    I think this writing is very poor, but I will try to improve my writing.
    No, it's actually quite good. You've made a few errors with the articles, and some expressions are not quite natural. But it's certainly not bad.
    Your English expression will improve with experience.

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