A badly injured man wanted

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Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct. Which of these sentences sounds better?

1.A badly injured man wanted to speak, but only a barley audible whisper came out of his mouth.

2. A badly injured man wanted to speak, but out of his mouth came out only a barely audible whisper.
 

tzfujimino

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There's a typo in the first sentence, Bassim.
:-D
 

emsr2d2

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct. Which of these sentences sounds better?

1.A badly injured man wanted to speak, but only a [STRIKE]barley[/STRIKE] barely audible whisper came out of his mouth.

2. A badly injured man wanted to speak, but out of his mouth came [STRIKE]out[/STRIKE] only a barely audible whisper.

With my corrections above, they're both OK. They're both quite flowery/formal. There's really no need for "out of his mouth" - I think people know which part of the anatomy is used for speaking and whispering.

I'd say something like "A badly-injured man wanted to say something but could only manage a weak whisper".
 

tzfujimino

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... and you should delete the second "out" in #2 to make it grammatical.
 
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