a cover letter

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wpqin

Junior Member
Joined
Feb 27, 2003
Dear teachers:

Somedays ago, when I corrected a Chinese article written by a Korean, I found that he always put too many things into one sentence or misused some words. That made his sentences lost their readabilities, though he is a not bad Chinese speaker. From this, I think that there must be some similar rhetorical diseases in my compositions.
Here is a cover letter I wrote it for sbmitting one of my maniscripts. Though I have sent the cover letter and the maniscript out, I also hope to know any illness or poor expression existing in it. Give me your corrections, please.

Dear Editors:

This manuscript reports a novel SiC ordered superstructure. In this crystalline alloy highly concentrated carbon (25%) is contained. This result went beyond theoretic forecast and limit as well as the former investigations. As high tech and electronic functional materials, silicon and carbon have attained extensive attentions and important applications. It is significant for materialists, physicists, chemists and electronic engineers to obtain a highly concentrated SiC alloy so that they can improve the silicon material’s properties. Therefore, we think that the readers in different disciplines will find their interest in the manuscript and it is suitable and reasonable to submit the manuscript to the journal.
This manuscript includes:
The first paragraph, 126 words;
The rest of the text, 1825 words;
4 figures, comprising 6 separate panels in total;
26 References and Notes.
According to our estimate, this letter needs three pages.
 

MikeNewYork

VIP Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Member Type
Academic
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
wpqin said:
Dear teachers:

Somedays ago, when I corrected a Chinese article written by a Korean, I found that he always put too many things into one sentence or misused some words. That made his sentences lost their readabilities, though he is a not bad Chinese speaker. From this, I think that there must be some similar rhetorical diseases in my compositions.
Here is a cover letter I wrote it for sbmitting one of my maniscripts. Though I have sent the cover letter and the maniscript out, I also hope to know any illness or poor expression existing in it. Give me your corrections, please.

Dear Editors:

This manuscript reports a novel SiC ordered superstructure. In this crystalline alloy highly concentrated carbon (25%) is contained. This result went beyond theoretic forecast and limit as well as the former investigations. As high tech and electronic functional materials, silicon and carbon have attained extensive attentions and important applications. It is significant for materialists, physicists, chemists and electronic engineers to obtain a highly concentrated SiC alloy so that they can improve the silicon material’s properties. Therefore, we think that the readers in different disciplines will find their interest in the manuscript and it is suitable and reasonable to submit the manuscript to the journal.
This manuscript includes:
The first paragraph, 126 words;
The rest of the text, 1825 words;
4 figures, comprising 6 separate panels in total;
26 References and Notes.
According to our estimate, this letter needs three pages.

This manuscript reports a novel SiC ordered superstructure. Highly concentrated (25%) carbon is contained in this crystalline alloy. This result exceeded our theoretical forecast and limit as well as the results of former investigations. Silicon and carbon have become important in many high-tech electrical applications. A highly concentrated SiC alloy will greatly increase the performance of these elements in practical applications. Therefore, we think that scientists in many disciplines will be interested in this manuscript and we are submitting it for publication in your journal.

This manuscript includes:
1. the first paragraph, 126 words
2. the remainder of the text, 1825 words
3. 4 figures, comprising 6 separate panels
4. 26 References and Notes.

According to our estimate, this manuscript will require three journal pages.
 

wpqin

Junior Member
Joined
Feb 27, 2003
Thank you very much, MikeNewYork. The corrected cover letter is much better than the old one. However, the theoretical forecast is not ours and we really want to express the material is an important functional one in electronic field. How can I say these in fine ways?
 

MikeNewYork

VIP Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Member Type
Academic
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
wpqin said:
Thank you very much, MikeNewYork. The corrected cover letter is much better than the old one. However, the theoretical forecast is not ours and we really want to express the material is an important functional one in electronic field. How can I say these in fine ways?

1. If the theoretical forecast is not yours, you can add "previously-published" before the phrase, but it should then be referenced.

2. I included "electrical" in the prior sentence. If you feel it needs to be mentioned again, add "particularly in the field of electronics" after applications.

<I don't have the original on my screen right now.>
 
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