A mayor who was making the speech

[Bassim]

I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

A mayor who was making the speech to the opening of the opera house was almost killed when the wall of the newly built building behind him collapsed above him. Emerging from the debris, covered in blood and dust, but otherwise unhurt, he promised to find the perpetrators and bring them to justice.

 

[teechar]

1- Are you talking about any mayor or a particular one?
2- Change "making a speech to the" to "giving a speech at the".
3- Change "newly built building to "new building".
4- Change "collapsed above him" to "collapsed and fell on (top of) him".

 

[Bassim]

I will repeat my sentences with teechar's corrections.

The mayor who was giving a speech at the opening of the opera house was almost killed when the wall of the new building behind him collapsed and fell on top of him. Emerging from the debris, covered in blood and dust, but otherwise unhurt, he promised to find the perpetrators and bring them to justice.

 

[teechar]

Oh, I forgot to comment about "perpetrators." I would use "those responsible", unless you're talking about a deliberate crime/act of sabotage.

 

[Bassim]

Actually, I have forgotten to add "act of sabotage" in my original sentence, and then when I posted my sentence I believed that it could be understood that the wall collapsed because of some kind of sabotage.

 

[emsr2d2]

In post #3, your mayor has become a major!