After Maria's marriage collapsed

[Bassim]

I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

After Maria's marriage collapsed, she sat in her car and made a journey across the US to heal her bruised soul. She felt hopeless at the start, but many kind people she met gave her hope in a new beginning.

 

[tzfujimino]

'... hope for a new beginning' sounds better to me. What do you think?

 

[Bassim]

Would this version be better?

After Maria's marriage collapsed, she went through one of the worst periods of her life. On a whim, she got in her car and began a journey across the US to heal her broken heart. She felt hopeless at the start, but many kind people she met gave her hope for a new beginning.

 

[emsr2d2]

I don't think there's any need for "sat/got in her car and made a journey". Why don't you just say "she drove [all the way/right] across the US ..."?

 

[Bassim]

emsr2d2,

Thank you again. You version is perfect. I am only wondering if I add "On a whim" would that be OK, like this:

On a whim, she drove all the way across the US...

 

[Tdol]

How about the many kind people she met?

 

[teechar]

Or many kind people she met along the way.