After Maria's marriage collapsed

Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

After Maria's marriage collapsed, she sat in her car and made a journey across the US to heal her bruised soul. She felt hopeless at the start, but many kind people she met gave her hope in a new beginning.
 

tzfujimino

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'... hope for a new beginning' sounds better to me. What do you think?
 

Bassim

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Would this version be better?

After Maria's marriage collapsed, she went through one of the worst periods of her life. On a whim, she got in her car and began a journey across the US to heal her broken heart. She felt hopeless at the start, but many kind people she met gave her hope for a new beginning.
 

emsr2d2

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I don't think there's any need for "sat/got in her car and made a journey". Why don't you just say "she drove [all the way/right] across the US ..."?
 

Bassim

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emsr2d2,

Thank you again. You version is perfect. I am only wondering if I add "On a whim" would that be OK, like this:

On a whim, she drove all the way across the US...
 

Tdol

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How about the many kind people she met?
 

teechar

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Or many kind people she met along the way.
 
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