[General] Any room for improvement in better English version?

Status
Not open for further replies.
U

Unregistered

Guest
As a news editor and reporter, she specializes in reports on the World Expo. Her stories recorded the growth of the Expo Park, from contract signings and ground breaking ceremonies, to the completion of venues.

----------------------------------------------

If I suggest that 'Her stories recorded' be replaced by 'She witnessed' to make it sound better, would it be good advice? Thank you.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
As a news editor and reporter, she specializes in reports on the World Expo. Her stories recorded the growth of the Expo Park, from contract signings and ground breaking ceremonies, to the completion of venues.

----------------------------------------------

If I suggest that 'Her stories recorded' be replaced by 'She witnessed' to make it sound better, would it be good advice? Thank you.

You can use "she witnessed" but that doesn't explain that she then reported on them. It only shows that she was present in person at the events.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top