Are You smoker ?

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Ayed

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A Smoker
Smoking is a bad habit that some smoking people carry out around you. If you ask such a smoker :”Why do you smoke” unhesitatingly replies he:” Ah!I just love to relieve my soul , manipulate my unhappiness to joyousness, and elevate my doleful desperation up to the sublime acme of happiness”. If another poped-out question lanching to his own ears :”Why do you then dawdle your own money”? He histantly answers :”I just want to fulfil my fancy and saturate my desire” If asked logically” Well!grab a cigarette lighter and set fire to only one a banknote of 5 dollars “ He insantly replies:”Do you stigmatize me with insanity?”
Let us see what can be implied in the smoker’s replies:
” Ah!I just love to relieve my soul , manipulate my unhappiness to joyousness, and elevate my doleful desperation up to the sublime acme of happiness”
>>He obeyed his soul , freed his wishes from responsibilities and rational boundaries.
“I just want to fulfil my fancy and saturate my desire”
>>He really tried to evade answering the striking question” Money distruction”
“Do you stigmatize me with insanity”
>>Another fallacious response to escape from his own real world.

Comments are welcomed and highly appreciated
Thank you very much,

Ayed :)
 

RonBee

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Sorry to take so long to get around to this one. Better late than never, I suppose.

I suppose you are looking for everything--the good, the bad, and the ugly? :wink:

I think that in places it is quite creative--interesting and amusing. Allow me to mention just one or two things at this time.

Smoking is a bad habit that some smoking people carry out around you.

A habit is not something people carry around with them. It is something people do. Also, smoking people is people that smoke, but not in the way the writer intended. Changing the sentence to Smoking is a bad habit would create a sentence that makes sense, but that sentence wouldn't go well with the second sentence. Perhaps I would make the second sentence the first sentence.

:)
 

RonBee

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If you ask such a smoker :”Why do you smoke” unhesitatingly replies he:” Ah!I just love to relieve my soul , manipulate my unhappiness to joyousness, and elevate my doleful desperation up to the sublime acme of happiness”.

  • If you ask a smoker :”Why do you smoke” unhesitatingly he replies:” Ah! I just love to relieve my soul, manipulate my unhappiness to joyousness, and elevate my doleful desperation up to the sublime acme of happiness”.

That's wonderfully creative, wonderfully expressive. :D

If another poped-out question lanching to his own ears :”Why do you then dawdle your own money”? He histantly answers :”I just want to fulfil my fancy and saturate my desire”

The contrast of unhesitatingly followed by hesitantly doesn't make sense to me. Perhaps:

  • If another poped-out question is launched to his own ears: "Why do you dawdle your own money?" he says: ”I just want to fulfil my fancy and saturate my desires.”

I am not sure what "saturate my desires" means, but it tickles my fancy. :)

If asked logically” Well!grab a cigarette lighter and set fire to only one a banknote of 5 dollars “ He insantly replies:”Do you stigmatize me with insanity?”

I don't think only works very well there. Also, that is clearly not a question. Perhaps:

  • If someone suggests that he may as well pick up a cigarette lighter and set fire to a five-pound banknote, he says: "Do you stigmatize me with insanity?"

I love that last part. You've got to keep that in there. :D

(In AE we would say five-dollar bill.)

Let us see what can be implied in the smoker’s replies:
” Ah!I just love to relieve my soul , manipulate my unhappiness to joyousness, and elevate my doleful desperation up to the sublime acme of happiness”

I think you need to rewrite the first part.

>>He obeyed his soul , freed his wishes from responsibilities and rational boundaries.
“I just want to fulfil my fancy and saturate my desire”
>>He really tried to evade answering the striking question” Money distruction”
“Do you stigmatize me with insanity”
>>Another fallacious response to escape from his own real world.

Hm.

:)
 

Ayed

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Oct 12, 2003
Mr. RonBee
thank you very much for your helpful comments and take it for granted that I really appreciated ever bit of your correction.

(In AE we would say five-dollar bill.)
No, you call it "fiver" :)
 

RonBee

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Ayed said:
Mr. RonBee
thank you very much for your helpful comments and take it for granted that I really appreciated ever bit of your correction.

You're quite welcome. I'm glad I could help. :D

Ayed said:
(In AE we would say five-dollar bill.)
No, you call it "fiver" :)

That too.

:wink:
 
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