As a teenager, Michael had two idols

Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentence is grammatically correct.

As a teenager, Michael had two idols he wished to emulate: his father who worked hard and never was on sick leave, and his older brother who was a professional basketball player.
 

GoesStation

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His father never took sick leave. I think you tend to use too many commas, but you need one after both father​ and brother.
 

Bassim

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GoesStation,

I believe I started to use many commas after teechar corrected my sentences. I don't know how that happened, but after his corrections, my subconscious put commas in places where they don't belong. Probably I tried to emulate him, but failed.
 

GoesStation

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Commas are used much less nowadays than they used to be. I find that I remove quite a few of them from my own writing but still shake my head over the overabundance that remains.

This has changed significantly in my literate lifetime. When I learned to address letters, we put a comma after every line. That practice died out about the same time as I learned it. Other commas are harder to extinguish but always suspect.
 

Tdol

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When I learned to address letters, we put a comma after every line.

What a waste of productivity that was in the days when things were handwritten.
 
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