As Bob was watching children playing in the park

[Bassim]

I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

As Bob was watching children playing in the park, a picture of his brother and him as children scampering in their garden flickered in his mind. He had not seen Peter for more than 20 years as the result of an argument between the two of them, which turned them into two strangers.

 

[andrewg927]

I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

As Bob was watching the children playing in the park, a picture of his brother and him as children scampering in their garden flickered in his mind. He had not seen Peter for more than 20 years as the result of an argument between the two of them, which turned them into two strangers.

The rest is grammatically correct but there are a few repetitions such as two of them, two strangers.

Here is my suggestion: As Bob was watching the children playing in the park, a picture of his brother and him scampering in the garden flickered in his mind. He had not seen Peter for more than 20 years as the result of an argument between the two, which turned them into strangers.