As Mother and I were leaving the Head Temple, she shed tears of reluctance.

[Tan Elaine]

1. As Mother and I were leaving the Head Temple, she shed tears of reluctance.

2. As Mother and I were leaving the Head Temple, she shed tears as she was reluctant to leave the Temple.

The first sentence is from a Buddhist magazine. I wonder if it is correct.

The second sentence is mine. I wonder if I have amended the original sentence correctly or I have made it worse.

Thanks.

 

[Tarheel]

The second one makes more sense.

Perhaps you could say that being there made her so happy that she cried when it was time to go.

 

[probus]

For the first time ever, I find myself in disagreement with the highly esteemed Tarheel.

To me, the first is stronger, simpler, and more natural. Without more context, what could her reluctance be about, other than leaving the temple,?

 

[Raymott]

The second sentence is clearer, but it's poor English expression. I took it to be more of an explanation of the first good sentence than a suggestion of how to improve it. I suspect there's context in the magazine that would clarify.

 

[Tarheel]

Reluctance doesn't seem to be the kind of emotion that brings on tears. Grief brings on tears.

 

[Skrej]

I agree the first sentence is better as it's more concise. We have tears of joy, so why not tears of reluctance? The original makes perfect sense to me.

 

[Tdol]

She cried because she was reluctant works better for me if you're going with the second.

 

[emsr2d2]

I have no issue with the idea of crying because you're reluctant to do something but "tears of reluctance" isn't a standard collocation. I'd re-order the whole sentence to:

My mother was so reluctant to leave the Head Temple that she was crying as we left.

 

[tedmc]

As Mother and I were leaving the Head Temple, I could sense her reluctance to leave from her teary eyes.

I guess she didn't actually cry but her eyes were wet with tears.