Become a punchline used by

Bassim

VIP Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Bosnian
Home Country
Bosnia Herzegovina
Current Location
Sweden
I am wondering if my sentence sounds natural.

The famous actor with an alcohol problem, who has caused a few scandals recently, has become a punchline used by stand-up comedians.
 

Charlie Bernstein

VIP Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Member Type
Other
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
It's too wordy.

First, I'd rework "The famous actor with the alcohol problem." Why "The"? I'd say something like "A famous alcoholic actor" or "an actor famous for his drinking."

"The" will only work if you name him: Rip Torn, the famous actor with the alcohol problem . . . .

Next, "caused a scandal" is okay, but it would more read more naturally if you said something like "who has been involved in several scandals recently" or "who has been in a number of recent scandals."

(However, it was good that you didn't say "multiple scandals." Multiple is a junk English word that has permeated American journalism and business writing lately. Only use it when you're discussing mathematics or multiple sclerosis.)

The last phrase is also a little weak. Stronger endings could be something like "has become a popular punchline with comedians" or "is now just a stand-up comics' punchline."
 

Bassim

VIP Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Bosnian
Home Country
Bosnia Herzegovina
Current Location
Sweden
Charlie Berntein,
I am really grateful for your useful explanations. Thank you for your time.
I will repeat my original sentence with your corrections.


An actor famous for his drinking, who has been in a number or recent scandals, has become a popular punchline with comedians.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Charlie Bernstein,
I am really grateful for your useful explanations. Thank you for your time.
I will repeat my original sentence with your corrections.


An actor famous for his drinking, who has been in a number [strike]or[/strike] of recent scandals, has become a popular punchline with comedians.

See above. We don't usually say that someone is "in a scandal". You could say he has been involved in or connected with a number of recent scandals.
 

Tarheel

VIP Member
Joined
Jun 16, 2014
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Charlie Berntein,
I am really grateful for your useful explanations. Thank you for your time.
I will repeat my original sentence with your corrections.


An actor famous for his drinking, who has been in a number of recent scandals, has become a popular punchline for comedians.

Perhaps:

has been involved in a number of recent scandals
 

Charlie Bernstein

VIP Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Member Type
Other
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
See above. We don't usually say that someone is "in a scandal". You could say he has been involved in or connected with a number of recent scandals.

Yes, I'll go along with that. Thanks!
 
Top