Bob had been seething with anger

Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.


Bob had been seething with anger since his mother had cut him out of her will. He blamed her new husband for such decision, because for some reason, he did not like Bob and probably managed to manipulate his mother.
 

teechar

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.


Bob had been seething with anger since his mother had cut him out of her will. He blamed her new husband for [STRIKE]such[/STRIKE] that decision because, for some reason, he did not like Bob and probably managed to [STRIKE]manipulate[/STRIKE] influence his mother.
Is Bob's mother dead? Why did you use the past perfect in the first sentence?
 

Bassim

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teechar,

Bob's mother is still alive. I used past perfect in the first sentence because I (wrongly) believed it should be used. The problem is that when I have "since" in my sentence, I am not sure if I should use the past perfect or the past.
 

Lynxear

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It is not a bad effort. "Bob had been seething with anger" means he was angry when he learned about the change in the will and he is still angry today. "Seethe" is a great word to use. It shows the intensity of that anger. You almost see smoke coming from his ears when he thinks about this situation.

You did not name her new husband and that would help clarify who the "he/him" references.

I would not agree with the comma after "because" as was suggested. Actually I would break up the sentence into two sentences and eliminate the "because" all together.

Finally I would add "he" after "and" to make what followed an independent clause and add a comma before "and". "Manipulate" is fine. "Influence" is ok as well.

So I would change your writing to:

Bob had been seething with anger since his mother had cut him out of her will. He blamed her new husband, John, for that decision. For some reason John did not like him, and he probably managed to manipulate his mother.

You made a very good attempt. It is a nice interesting sentence grouping.
 
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teechar

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"Bob had been seething with anger" means he was angry when he learned about the change in the will and he is still angry today.
That's incorrect. If he is still angry today, you would use the present perfect (not the past perfect).

You did not name her new husband and that would help clarify who the "he/him" references.
That implies not naming the new husband helps clarify who he is! :shock:
I presume you meant to write naming her new husband would help clarify who "he/him" refers to.

I would not agree with the comma after "because" as was suggested.
I disagree. It makes "for some reason" parenthetical.

"Influence" is [STRIKE]ok[/STRIKE] OK/okay as well.
Note the correction.
 

andrewg927

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