Bob was an inveterate smoker

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Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentence is grammatically correct.

Bob was an inveterate smoker until he saw his best friend, Ivan dying of cancer. The experience had affected him so strongly that he never touched a cigarette again.
 
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GoesStation

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Either use no comma before Ivan, or one before and one after.

The past perfect doesn't work in the second sentence. Use the past simple.
 
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