Bob went into a pub

Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

Bob went into a pub and had a few pints of lager before switching to vodka. Some hours later, he was so drunk he could hardly walk. They had to call paramedics, who carried him on a stretcher to the A&E department, where his condition deteriorated. Later, he was to discover he might have escaped the heart attack by a hair's breadth.
 

emsr2d2

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

Bob went [STRIKE]into[/STRIKE] to a pub and had a few pints of lager before switching to vodka.
I have changed "into" to "to" because "went into a pub" mainly suggests simply the act of entering the place, whereas "went to a pub" suggests spending some time there.

Some hours later, he was so drunk he could hardly walk.
"Some hours" is rather formal (I know we've talked about the formality of your writing before) but it's not wrong. I would say "A couple of hours later/A few hours later".

They had to call paramedics, who carried him on a stretcher to the A&E department, where his condition deteriorated.
Who are "they"?
In BrE, we'd say "had to call an ambulance". The despatcher decides whether to send a paramedic (sometimes on a motorbike) or a full ambulance crew.
You don't need to specify that he was on a stretcher. When someone is taken in an ambulance to hospital, they are always strapped onto a stretcher for safety reasons.
I'd use "to casualty" rather than "to the A&E department" but that might only work in BrE.

Later, he was to discover he might have escaped [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] a heart attack by a hair's breadth.

See above for my comments, queries and corrections.
 

Bassim

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emsr2d2,

Thank you for your useful explanations.

Do I need to specify who were "they"?
If I had to specify, maybe I should write like this:
The publican had to call an ambulance, which transported him to causalty, where his condition deteriorated.
 

emsr2d2

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Since the identity of "they" hasn't previously been established, I think it would help to do so. Otherwise, it could be the bar staff, the other patrons or maybe the bouncers (the door security staff).

I don't like "which transported him to" - the ambulance didn't drive itself. I'd probably say:

"The landlord/landlady (that's usually what we call the publican) had to call an ambulance. Bob was taken to casualty but his condition deteriorated."

I used "but" at the end to show that his condition deteriorated despite his being taken to hospital for medical attention.
 

Tdol

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