ambitious-girl
Senior Member
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2017
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Persian
- Home Country
- Iran
- Current Location
- Iran
Are these two sentences correct ?
Main sentence ->
"To some extent we can blame obesity problems on pressurized marketing which glamorizes certain foods and drinks, but, on the other hand, individuals themselves must learn to be responsible for their own health. "
My sentence ->
"To some extent we can blame obesity problems on pressurized marketing which glamorizes certain foods and drinks. On the other hand, individuals themselves must learn to be responsible for their own health. "
Main sentence ->
"To some extent we can blame obesity problems on pressurized marketing which glamorizes certain foods and drinks, but, on the other hand, individuals themselves must learn to be responsible for their own health. "
My sentence ->
"To some extent we can blame obesity problems on pressurized marketing which glamorizes certain foods and drinks. On the other hand, individuals themselves must learn to be responsible for their own health. "