Can somebody help me correct these sentences?

[scott833]

1) Many storekeeper are lax in their duty when it comes to selling tobacco product.They don't check the ID of the buyers.It has become a concern of the society.
2) Many storekeep are lax in selling tabacco and alcoholic drinks without checking the ID of all the buyers. It has become a major concern.

 

[richuk]

1) Many storekeeper are lax in their duty when it comes to selling tobacco product.They don't check the ID of the buyers.It has become a concern of the society.
2) Many storekeep are lax in selling tabacco and alcoholic drinks without checking the ID of all the buyers. It has become a major concern.

Not a teacher.

I would say:

1) Many shopkeepers are (lapsed) in their duty when it comes to selling a tobacco product. They don't check the buyer's ID. Society has become concerned.

2) Many shopkeepers are (lapsed) in selling tobacco and alcoholic drinks as they don't check the IDs of all the buyers. It has become a major concern.

I have put 'lapsed' in brackets because I'm not sure it is the correct word - I would ask a teacher to confirm this. I have made some changes which may not have been necessarily wrong in the first place but is how I would have written it. Hope it is ok.

 

[billmcd]

Richuk: I agree with your changes but "lapsed" refers to a period of time. "Lax" is OK.