Can you correct my letter of application?

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gx90t

Junior Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2007
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Student or Learner
That's the advertisement I have to reply to:

"We are looking for helpers to organise sports and other activities at our American summer camp for children. You must be 18 or over and able to work for at least 9 weeks, starting June 15. You should also be fit, enthusiastic and responsible. Accomodation, food, pocket money, medical insurance and return travel are all provided."


My letter of application:

Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to apply for the job, which was advertised in the Daily News on Friday 5 February.

I'm attending the secondary school but at the moment I've been on holiday for 3 months and I would be available to work for the whole summer.
I'm an early 18 girl and I have been studying English for 7 years and I speak it well.
I'm a sociable person and I love children. In fact, in my future I would like to prepare myself in a way that I can work with children.

It's extremely important in that kind of job be responsible and I can surely say I am. I've always helped my mother with my sisters, when she was busy at work. I learnt from this way of life how the children's behaviour is.
That's my second year experience. In fact, last year I was employed in a summer camp in Honduras. I really appreciated it and now I would like to still do.
I love sport, outdoors and indoors ones. For this reason ,I can plan suitable games for children.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,
gx90t
 

gx90t

Junior Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2007
Member Type
Student or Learner
I know that you are busy but I would like to read the answer very quikly!

if there is any sentence that isn't properly english or there are grammar mistakes or anything else....pleaseeeeee!!!!!!!!correct me!

thanks!
 

Anglika

No Longer With Us
Joined
Oct 19, 2006
Member Type
Other
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to apply for the job that was advertised in the Daily News on Friday 5 February for helpers at an American summer camp.

I am 18 years old and attending secondary school. I would be available to work for the whole summer. I have been studying English for 7 years and I speak it well. Last year I was employed in a summer camp in Honduras and I really enjoyed it. I'm a sociable person and I love children. In fact, in my future I would like to find a career working with children.

It's extremely important in that kind of job to be responsible and I can surely say I am. I've always helped my mother with my sisters when she was busy at work. I learnt from this about children's behaviour and how to handle them.

I love sport, both outdoors and indoors. For this reason, I can plan suitable games for children.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,
gx90t

.
 

gx90t

Junior Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2007
Member Type
Student or Learner
Thank you very much, Anglika!!

Your suggestions were very helpful for me!=)=)=)
 
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