Check my Essay please!

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jomo27

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Please check my essay writing.

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In the year 2005, an American movie industry made a movie titled 'Goal'. And it was released the next year after the movie was made, in 2006. It's a drama and sport movie. It was written by Mike Jefferies, Adrian butchart, Dick Clement, and Ian La Frenais. And it was directed by Danny Cannon. There are 3 main characters in the movie, Kuno Becker as Santiago Munez, Alessandro Nivola as Garvin Harris, and Anna Friel as Roz Harmison. The setting took place in Los Angeles, California, USA and England, UK.

Basically, the story is about a talented Mexican boy, Santiago Munez, who has a great ambition, to be a professional football player. Unfortunately, his family is considered poor and they live in a very small village in Mexico. One day, a group of police comes to the village and condemn the village. All the villagers are forced to migrate to cities and Santiago and his family move to Los Angeles. Luckily, they found a place to live and his father starts working to find money. Santiago starts to train his football skill all over the year and at last he started to join a small football club in the rural area. Once, there is a rich football club manager tripping along the areas and he sees Santiago playing football very well and it has impressed him. He starts to pierce him and notice that Santiago is a good and talented football player. Then he approach Santiago and ask him to join his football club, but Santiago has to join the trial before being accepted. Santiago always believes that his talent could bring him to be a star. At last, he passed the trial and being accepted to be one of the football players in the club. His career begins from here, and his family is proud of him. A year has passed and he becomes a rich and famous football player. But he always thinks that only with his faith and family, he can be like this.

I think it's a good movie even though the story seems/sounds ordinary. But the good thing about this movie is, it tells that a person who has the faith on them self is a person who would be success one day. Like Santiago, he has the talent and faith, and he accumulates it till the highest peak and finds the happiness of his hard work. In addition, the slogan of this movie is awesome too, 'every dream has a beginning'. This movie hasn't finished yet, there is a continue episode called 'Goal 2' and it was released in 2007, and I've watched it. I think both movies are pretty good, but in the 2nd episode, it's more focusing on reality.
 

okkidokitokki

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Please check my essay writing.

Thanks!


In the year 2005, an American movie industry made a movie titled 'Goal'.(,) (and)And it was released the next year after the movie was made(delete), in 2006. It's a drama and sports movie. It was written by Mike Jefferies, Adrian butchart, Dick Clement, and Ian La Frenais.(; anddirected by) And it was directed by Danny Cannon. There are 3 main characters in the movie, Kuno Becker as Santiago Munez, Alessandro Nivola as Garvin Harris, and Anna Friel as Roz Harmison. The setting took place in Los Angeles, California, USA and England, UK.

Basically, the story is about a talented Mexican boy, Santiago Munez, who has a great ambition, to be a professional football player. Unfortunately, his family is considered poor and they live in a very small village in Mexico. One day, a group of police comes to the village and condemn the village. All the villagers are forced to migrate to cities and Santiago and his family move to Los Angeles. Luckily, they found a place to live and his father starts working to find money. Santiago starts to train his football skill all over (during) the year and at last he started to join a small football club in the rural area. Once, there is a rich football club manager tripping along the areas and he sees Santiago playing football very well and it has impressed(impresses) him. He starts to pierce(are you trying to say watch, as in he watches him?) him and notices that Santiago is a good and talented football player. Then he approachs Santiago and asks him to join his football club, but Santiago has to join the trial before being accepted. Santiago always believes that his talent could bring(make) him to be a star. At last, he passed the trial and being (is) accepted to be(as) one of the football players in the club. His career begins from here, and his family is proud of him. A year has passed and he becomes a rich and famous football player. But he always thinks that only with his faith and family, he can be like this.

I think it's a good movie even though the story seems/sounds ordinary. But the good thing about this movie is, it tells that(if) a person who has the faith on(in) them self is a person who would(then that person will) be a success one day. Like Santiago, he has the talent and faith, and he accumulates it till the highest peak and finds the happiness of his hard work. In addition, the slogan of this movie is awesome too, 'every dream has a beginning'. This movie hasn't finished yet, there is a continue episode called 'Goal 2' and it was released in 2007, and I've watched it. I think both movies are pretty good, but in the 2nd episode, it's more focusing on reality.


These are just suggestions, the red I would deleate and the bright blue I would include. I'm not a teacher yet but I hope this helps.
 

susiedqq

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"scouts" is a word (verb) used to describe the observing of a sports player, perhaps for professional play.

The coach scouted the games for good players.

Jim was scouted by the university football coaches.
 
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