Check The Poem Plz...

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Volcano1985

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I suddenly woke up with you,the night didn’t reach three
A cloud stayed on my eye,the yearning didn’t suit us

They say the heart is towards another heart,did you feel sorry too ?
Even moon goes away,did you think of the night ?

Loneliness is hidden inside me,doesn’t go out even for a moment
I have a photo in my hand,he must be here now


Is there any mistake in the sentences or any thing that doesn't make sense ? Thnx...



 

susiedqq

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I like your poem! What is the title?
Here are some suggestions:


Suddenly I woke up with you
The night didn’t reach three
A cloud stayed on my eye
The yearning didn’t suit us

One heart towards another

Did you feel sorry too ?
Even moon goes away
Did you think of the night ?

Loneliness hidden inside

Doesn’t go out even for a moment
I have a photo in my hand
He must be here now
 

Volcano1985

Senior Member
Joined
Jul 15, 2006
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Turkish
Home Country
Turkey
Current Location
Turkey
Wow great thanks...
 
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